Vovka! You shouldn't joke like that...
The oxygen here is two percent of normal.
Gedevan... You don't need this.
You're young, you live a long time.
Maybe things will change...
We don't need Skripach, Uncle Vova.
Hey, Patsak!
I don't give a shit what you discard.
Tell the truth for once in your life.
Why didn't you go with that idiot
when you could?
What did you want?
Crimson Trousers? PJ's bathhouse?
Tell me!
Gedevan, you tell him.
Or I can.
I have a Georgian mother. Had.
She says she is a local Georgian. Was.
Uef! How would you like it
if I took them to Alpha.
And you, scabby Chatlanian, wear the tsak!
And sit down when you speak to a Patsak!
Hanut is the Patsak planet, my friend.
Repeat it again.
You eject us on Alpha, and try to brake
in its orbit, and then...
You won't be able to brake there.
Don't interrupt...
Go on, my friend.
On Alpha, when they transfer us to the Earth,
we need to keep our fingers
on the transference machine
so that it stays with us.
On Earth we can buy you
four boxes of matches.
Go on, friend.
Well I could keep going on about
this and that.
Let's go.
If we can...
Because of you I'll be locked up
in a tub forever.
And you have shown your laziness,
once more.
Brothers! Dear, good, friend of mine...
So fly, even if the door is closed.
I can't stand looking at you any more,
it makes me sick.
Farewell, my friend.
let's go.
Brake! Brake! Brake!
How can I brake when you drank
all the brake fluid?
Alcoholic!
It's ruined.
Switch off your antlers!
They won't switch off.
Then take them off.
They're broken.
It seems to have landed.
Put on your gas mask.
Just like last time.
And the tsak?
No, we can do without it.
Earth!
On the river, on the river,
on those banks...
No...not the Earth.
Hello!
We're Patsaks from the planet Earth.
And you are...?
This is the planet Alpha.
Report your co-ordinates to the Decon,
and she will transfer you
to your point of departure.
Good luck!
The number of your planet,
if you'd be so good.
013 in the tenture.
Here it is...
Somewhere here straight ahead.
There.
To the left of the Great Bear.
That's not necessary.
If you would, hold hands.
Woman, what are you going to do with these?
Into the small room of the hothouse.
Please.
You...
Hold hands!
Do you really turn people into cactii?
Only out of Plukanians.
Oh, but they're not Plukanians.
They're Hanutians.
That is irrelevant. Please put on
the breathing masks.
Why, your air is really nice.
That is precisely why.
God, just look at her.
Ok, Gedevan. Calm down. Put it on.
In the name of the planet,
I'm asking you to let them go.
Who decides their fate?
Abrodox. But...
Take us to him.
Otherwise I'll take off my mask
and start breathing.
You shouldn't worry.
Our orangeries are very comfortable.
Blossoming micro-climate, serenety.
One could be jealous of it.
Then why are you running around
on the grass,
and not inside in a pot?
Please look where you are going,
you've already squashed three plants.
Friend!
We have a big favour to ask you.
You can't continue. No.
Our misfortune is here...
...in the neighbourhood
of the galaxy Kin-Dza-Dza.
They are consumed with fury.
...and depravity.
To continue their
lives in the form
of plants would be a blessing for them.
And everyone else.
Can we send for them
and ask them...
...what would be a blessing for
them and what not?
Well if we were to give
them the possibility
to make that decision, then...
Young lady, are you
the most intelligent one here?
Do you do as your told,
or what you decide yourself?
We can't waste time with this.
You are creatures of the anti-tenture,
and I must send you to your
point of departure.
Or return you in time, to the moment
when you made your fateful decision.
Choose.
Excuse me. I don't understand. To what time?
The past...to Pluke.
So it's like this... Alone on Earth.
Or together in the past?
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I won't allow