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Are you colour-blind, Fiddler?
Can't you tell green from orange?..
Come on!
Vova, do as I taught!
Hi, citizen.
You don't feel cold
in the coat, do you?
They wont let me in.
They want you alone.
Don't give 'em ketse,
bring the gravitsapa here,
I'll check it.
Not you!
We're together!
Not you!
Vladimir Nikolaevich, tell him!
It's alright.
Wait here.
But don't leave!
How are things?
You want me to squat...
well, just out of respect
for the ladies present...
Well what's new... on Pluke?
Gimme ketse,
you'll get a gravitsapa.
A half!
Yeah, a half.
May I have a look?
Actually, I am not an expert
in these gravitsapas... So let's go
and show it to my Chatlanian...
- He'll check it, OK?
- Jus a moment while we
install the tsapa.
Sore throat?
Its water...
I have a proposition.
I'll give you the rest of this ketse
for two bottles of water.
- Agreed?
- OK.
Do you have food?
What kind?
Ill give you this whole ketse
for five bottles of water
and a kilo of kasha.
Whats this?
We have to check it again.
- Well, check it.
- Koo!
Hey, where are you going?
Wait man...
Fiddler! Can you obtain more
matches on Earth?
I can.
If you can spit further than me,
I'll give you half a chatl.
This is a Spitta.
And if I can OVERSPIT you,
youll give me two matches....
It's just a simple game.
I bet half a chatl,
you bet 3 matches.
Come on, spit, sonnie!
Thank you, I'd rather not.
OK, you bet one match,
I bet 3 chatls an Yellow Pants,
and Ill give you...
...a head-start LIKE THIS!
Come on!
- No!
Well, Blue Pants!
Mr Uef, I will not enter
on ny terms and conditions.
So why are you pissin about,
maimuna verishvilo?!
Mr Wef! I represent a civilized planet,
and I insist that you watch
your language! Yeah!
Where are they?
That one, with a scar!
I'm such a bonehead!
I gave him all the matches!
- Kyoo... Woe...
- Stop it, men. Enough!
Enough? Enough?!
I told him a thousand times
we should go to the Centre!
But he's greedy like all Chatlanians!
He wanted to save 2 chatls!
Well, I have another one.
As I understand it,
enough for a gravitsapa.
Give it to me. Now.
To buy a gravitsapa, duh!
There, in the Centre.
How will you get us to Earth,
when you don't even know
in which galaxy she orbits?
You bonehead! Any planetarium
in the Centre will give out
your planet number for 2 chatls!
Give me the match, OK?
Bah! So you could bury us
in the sand?!
So you won't give it?
Is that cruelly final?
Most cruelly.
Then goodbye, my friend.
They're going away,
Vladimir Nikolaevich.
Like hell!
They'll hang themselves
for a match!
Either you give us the match now,
or we won't PUT you on Earth
for less than 7 boxes!
OK, 2 000.
No! 3 000!
Well, 2 300.
3 000, I say!
2 500,
I can't give you more.
Yes, you can, my friend.
Mr Bee,
I have 50 roubles,
matches cost 2 kopecks per box,
so I can buy 2 500,
it's maximum...
Fiddler, dont bullshit!
You have more Russian chatls.
Mr Wef! Dont call me Fiddler!
My name is Gedevan Alexandrovich!
What's that, an engine?
Don't poke your nose
in every hole!
...Gedevan Alexandrovich...
Gedevan, let's tie up these rogues
and take a course to the North.
What for?
What if the shores
of the Mediterranean are there?
Ha! Vladimir Nikolaevich,
are you nuts?
Where did you get seas on Pluke?
Our seas have been made
into LUTZ long ago.
Excuse me, into what?
Into fuel, Fiddler. Into fuel...
Now you owe us 6 140 boxes.
Why so much?
You ate kasha,
you drank water...
plus the bandura.
No, cancel the bandura...
we don't want the bandura.
Put it back, Fiddler.
Uncle Vova, we need to bring back
a sample of technology. If not,
who will believe us?
Well, give them the violin,
if you like that bandura so much.
It's an 18th century Italian violin!
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