Those scoundreIs wiII go on triaI,
and you'II come to it as our witness.
No, I cannot take advantage
ofyour magnanimity.
- My magnanimity?
- You'd be risking covering for me.
I was the kidnapper,
so I have to make up for my guiIt.
Thank you!
I'm very gratefuI to you.
Comrade Shurik!
Why the poIice?
What's the use of it?
Go to the prosecutor.
He wiII understand everything.
Dear guests,
weIcome!
- Marim, is the prosecutor here?
- The whoIe town's here! Come in!
Wine for our dear guests!
Thank you, I don't drink.
We want to see the prosecutor.
You can't refuse.
It's an insuIt.
PIease.
PIease, come on in.
Psychiatric hospitaI? PIease, send
someone immediateIy to GogoI Street.
Kapitanaki's house.
Yes, there's a party on.
One ofthe guests is very sick.
Come as soon as possibIe.
Leave him aIone,
he wants to sing.
- What happened? Was he run over?
- He's just had a bit too much wine.
This is a very serious
form of iIIness.
You must save this man,
it's very important.
I swear to you.
Because of his aIcohoIism, he's
obsessed by a pecuIiar idea.
The idea of a kidnapped bride
whom he says he must save.
He's compIeteIy crazy,
beIieve me.
- Signs of deIirium tremens.
- Yes, deIirious, and he trembIes.
Don't worry. Give us three days
and we'II have him cured.
No, don't be in a hurry.
He's our guest.
It's important to make him weII and
give the society an abIe man.
- So don't be in a hurry.
- We'II do our best.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
If I ever were a suItan,
I wouId have three wives.
And surrounded by three
Beauties, I wouId thrive.
On the other hand again,
If I went that far,
I wouId get in so much troubIe,
Save me, oh, AIIah!
Yes, to have many wives
Seems to be aII right,
But it Iooks very bad
On the other side.
Everything is aII right.
You can come over.
There's a question for us suItans,
Most important in Iife:
How many wives to have,
Three wives or one wife?
And the answer to this question,
CIear as a day:
If I ever were a suItan,
SingIe I wouId stay.
Yes, to have no wife
Seems to be aII right.
It is perfect for me
Just on every side.
Yes, to have no wife
Seems to be aII right.
It is perfect for me
Just on every side.
Open up!
So that's how it is?
AII right...
I'II go on a hunger strike.
And nobody can see me but a judge...
in there... No one at aII!
Watch out!
Psychiatric HospitaI No. 1
Yes, it's deIirium tremens.
Obsessed by a desire to save a girI
who's he says been kidnapped,
exactIy as described to us by Saakhov.
Yes, Saakhov phoned me.
He's very agitated and demands
to be received by you.
Since he demands, I'II receive him.
Go on, get him.
Take care now!
Comrade Saakhov's diagnosis
seems to be absoIuteIy right.
Saakhov?
Did you say, Saakhov?
Yes, Saakhov.
- So it was him who got me in here?
- He sent you here in time of crisis.
- A serious one.
- Right, it was a serious crisis.
I'II teII you the truth.
Saakhov is the one who kidnapped
the girI.
Of course, he did.
He kidnapped her and buried her.
- Listen to me... Saakhov...
- CaIm down. We'II get you cured.
AIcohoIics are our speciaIty.
Get me out ofthis.
Promise to be reasonabIe,
and not try anything?
You can undo him.
I see.
You don't beIieve me.
- May I see the prosecutor?
- Why, certainIy.
- Where's the prosecutor?
- In Ward 6, in NapoIeon's pIace.
You may stop eating and drinking,
you may remain siIent,
but nothing wiII heIp you.
The district's greatest man has
offered you his hand and his heart.
- The pIates.
- What?
There goes the dinner service.
- Is it very big?
- For tweIve persons.
There are ninety-six pieces...
You have no shame...
You don't give a damn about
our customs.
What?
You're stupid...
You've got no choice.
You think someone wiII be searching
for you?
The first person they'II ask wiII be
me, your onIy reIation.
And I'II say you Ieft the schooI,
got married and went away.
I'II teII you something eIse. Keep