This is no longer a vacation! It's a quest! It's a quest for fun. I'm going to have fun and you're going to have fun. We're all going to have so much fucking fun... ...we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling zippity-doo-dah out of your assholes! I have to be crazy. I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit! Dad, do you want an aspirin or something? Don't touch! The next time you have one of your outbursts... ...I'd appreciate it if you'd have some consideration for your kids. What are you talking about? You don't know? All I know is I'm trying to treat my family to a little fun! Spare me, Clark! I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk... ...hold up a McDonald's, and drive us a thousand miles out of the way... ...to see the world's largest ball of mud! You know what your problem is? You have an uncanny knack for looking at the dark side of things. That's your problem. You wouldn't know a good time if it came up and bit you! Where are you going? What do you care? Are you waiting for someone? No! Do you mind if I sit down? Fancy seeing you here. Having a nice little family vacation? It would appear so, wouldn't it? No, the truth of it is, and this is highly confidential... ...I own this motel. I own the whole chain, nationwide. Twenty-two hundred units. Yeah, once a year, I travel across the country, incognito. Check things out, and see how the operation is running. I thought you were going to say you worked for the CIA. That's an old bit, isn't it? Really. No, I'm not with the CIA. I was, but that was a long time ago. I don't like to talk about it. No, I'm mainly interested in my motels now... And my airline. That's great. I'm just trying to have a little fun. It's a shame you're married. I'm in the mood for some fun. Married? You mean those people I'm with? That's my brother's family. My brother's ring. I usually borrow them on these little inspection tours of mine. It helps to complete the disguise. It's fun for them. It's a good disguise. I like the station wagon effect. Yeah? Well, that's a big part of it. In order to be convincing, you have to look and act like an ordinary jerk. You know, stop at all the stupid sites and look like a fool. Basically, be yourself? Yeah! You like the disguise? My credo is, if you have to have a credo... ...you know, "Go for it," pretty much. You only go around this crazy merry-go-round once! You know? I agree. Yeah. That's my credo! You don't have to have a credo, but... "If the shoe fits, wear it." "A penny saved..." "Pennies from heaven..." My favorite credo... ...you know "A penny saved, and..." Thank you. This feels great! Well... ...are you going to go for it? Uh... here? To start with, yes. Why not? Don't you swim? Sure, I took third in the state finals in my senior year. Yeah, I'm really at ease in the water. I'm proficient in many strokes and I dive. As a matter of fact, I could've been in the Olympics. Yeah. I'll be right there. Yeah. This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy! How's the water? Exhilarating! I'm in deep, I'm in deep! It's cold! Jesus! Fuck! Clark? Cold! Clark...? Hi, honey. What are you doing? Swimming! Yeah, my back was killing me. And I thought I'd get a swim and loosen up the muscles. Why go to the car and get the bathing suit? Jump right in. It's exhilarating. Guess what, honey? This person here was... ...here! I didn't see this person, so... ...I screamed, that's why I yelled. I was so surprised. You can imagine, can't you, honey? Honey?! Will you excuse me? You have to go. Well, I'd stay if I weren't married, but I am. I know. I hope I didn't spoil your evening. No, it's been interesting. Well, enjoy the rest of your trip. You, too. I can't believe this. I am so humiliated. Cut it out. You don't even know how to ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Дневник камикадзе на английском - текст Лунная радуга на английском - текст Достояние Республики на английском - текст Авиатор на английском - текст Каникулы в Простоквашино на английском |