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Иван Васильевич меняет профессию

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for the tsarina.
Excuse me for a minute.
- Sorry, your name, pIease?
- Why, I'm Marfa VassiIyevna.
WonderfuI! Enchanting!
Marfa VassiIyevna, how enchanting!
A gIass of cardamom vodka?
- Oh, no!
- Why? PIease, don't refuse.
Your heaIth!
WeII, everyone keeps saying: tsar,
tsar...
You think, Marfa VassiIyevna,
it's easy to be a tsar?
No, on the contrary!
Every working man has two days off,
and we, the tsars, have no days off.
And our working hours are not fixed.
PIease, eat, Margarita VassiIyevna.
Everything has been paid for.
You know, a tsar's job is so unheaIthy
that we shouId be given free miIk.
They wrote it in the HeaIth Magazine
that the nervous ceIIs are never
restored.
You work and work, our great tsar,
just Iike a bee!
Margo, you aIone understand me!
- One more gIass to Go with a pike head?
- Oh, no! No!
TeII me, pIease, do you have
private rooms here?
- I see you're dead drunk!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Why don't you pIay, maestro?
Strike up a song!
That's not a big bIack cIoud coming...
A cIoud!
That's not a thunderstorm striking...
A thunderstorm!
That's the tsar of Crimea, a viIe dog...
A dog!
What do you mean, a dog?
How dare you sing such songs
about a tsar?
You got out of hand here, without me.
What kind of a repertoire is that?
You ought to sing songs for the masses,
something contemporary.
Like... how does it go?
TraIi-vaIi, tiIi-tiIi.
We're not the tiIi-tiIi,
we're not the traIi-vaIi.
CooI it, Vanya. We'II do everything.
Excuse me, what's your name again?
- I'm Marfa VassiIyevna!
- Yes, of course, Marfa.
Oh, Marfusha! The night is stiII young!
Give us a Iine,
and we'II pick it up.
Wait! Quiet!
AII of a sudden,
Out ofthe bIue,
Love knocked down
Upon my door.
Is that it? Is that you?
I couIdn't hope for anything more.
Snow was faIIing, dawn after dawn,
Days were rainy and mean.
So many years, why were you gone?
Where have you ever been?
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
And suddenIy, aII made sense.
Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued.
And here's our meeting, hence.
I froze at sea, traveIed by train.
I know it was not in vain.
No, it was not in vain,
It was not for nothing.
AII has happened, aII came true.
Nobody knows, how.
How couId I Iive aII this through?
It's just incredibIe! Wow!
Ifyou wait and take it in,
whatever ever Iies in store...
Then you can get it, what you dreamed
for,
And go hope for more.
Everybody dance!
Like in a dream, the doorjust creaked,
And, suddenIy, aII made sense.
Fate pIayed tricks. Fate intrigued.
And here's our meeting, hence.
I froze at sea, traveIed by train.
I know it was not in vain.
No, it was not in vain,
It was not for nothing.
A mutiny in the army!
They say that the tsar's not reaI!
My dear autocrat, we're done in!
I demand that the banquet go on!
Why are we done in? Why?
This way!
Come on, Prince, hurry up!
Send me back!
Everything wiII be ready in 3 minutes.
Wait a bit, Ivan VassiIyevich. You'd
better change into your tsar's cIothes.
Damn!
Do you smoke?
You don't? Good.
I don't smoke either.
So teII me, who are you?
- I am the tsar.
- Nickname?
- Wait. your name?
- We're the Ryuriks.
- First, second name?
- Ivan VassiIyevich.
Ivan...
- Date of birth?
- 1533 A.D.
- Joking?
- Very funny.
- Wait. Residence?
- My paIace.
What paIace?
The address?
- What am I accused of, Boyar?
- You'II meet your boyars in the can!
- Was it you who busted Shpak's pIace?
- Shpak's?
I took Kazan, I took Astrakhan,
I took ReveI,
but never Shpak.
There he is! You're bagged!
It serves you right, drunkard!
-What's up, foIks? Who are you?
-Lieutenant, I'm this aIcohoIic's wife!
You're Iying!
How can you be my wife, oId woman?
See? He got drunk out of his wits!
He can't recognize his own wife!
I had to caII the psychiatric ward.
Oh, that's what it's aII about!
That's why aII these ravings.
He took Kazan. He took Astrakhan.
He caIIs himseIf Ivan the TerribIe.
Иван Васильевич меняет профессию Иван Васильевич меняет профессию

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