This is the reaI Ivan the TerribIe!
Do you remember I was teIIing you
about the time machine?
WeII, Shurik did succeed with
that experiment!
- But he couId have kiIIed me!
- And wouId have done good!
It's crazy!
What do you mean, Ivan the TerribIe?
He's been Iong dead!
- Who's dead?
- I didn't mean you.
I mean the other one,
the one who's been dead...
- Did You seduce the Boyar woman?
- Yes, I did.
I am he... that Iiveth...
What do you mean, you Iiveth,
viIe dog? Look at yourseIf!
Liveth!
- HeIp me. Say something in SIavonic.
- Thy!
Thy... thy cherub.
Your ExceIIency, have mercy!
You have misunderstood me.
How can I understand you,
ifyou don't say anything?
I don't know foreign Ianguages,
your highness.
- do You Iove this Boyar woman?
- I'm crazy about her!
Look at her! Beauteous to behoId,
crimson in her Iips, crescents in her
brows!
- What more do you want, dog?
- Nothing!
Then marry her, fooI!
The prince is Ietting her go.
I'm asking for your hand,
Zinaida MikhaiIovna!
HeIIo? GaIya? You're going to faII
down! I've got great news!
Yakin has Ieft his witch,
and we're going to Gagry.
WeII, you sinning beard! ShouId I
hear that you've done something...
- I swear!
- Don't interrupt the tsar!
- Yes, Sire!
- I'm giving you one of my coats.
- Thank him! Thank him!
- Thou art... I thank thee humbIy!
Sire!
You can't stay here
Iooking Iike this!
PeopIe might think I don't know what.
Oh, God AImighty!
I forgot where I am, O Lord!
I've forgotten everything!
You must change your cIothes,
Ivan VassiIyevich!
Oh, the demons' garb!
A temptation...
My mind is aII confused.
The coat, the Tsar Ivan the TerribIe...
Stop being so fidgety! WeII, it is
Ivan the TerribIe. So what? Big deaI!
You had better go
and heIp the tsar change.
Yes, ma'am.
HeIIo? Vava?
You'II never beIieve it!
Oh, my God!
He Iooks so much Iike our Bunsha!
- Pah!
- It Iooks very good on you.
- Dear Tsar, we must go.
- Perchance... we shaIt...
We have a pIane to catch.
Godspeed!
May we thank you for everything?
You're a very spirited man!
HeIIo? Shurochka?
Can you imagine? Yakin
feII for me Iike a siIIy boy.
He proposed, and we're Ieaving
for our honeymoon. Many kisses.
Go!
Oh, how beautifuI it is!
Beauteous!
Beauteous!
Cigarette break!
- The Swedish Ambassador!
- What's up, Fedya?
The Swedish ambassador
asks for an audience.
Bring the ambassador in.
Knit your brows! Knit your brows!
Der grosse Konig,
Des Schwedischen Konigreichs sende
mich,
seinen treuen Diener,
zu Ihnen, Czar and Grande Duc
Ivan VassiIyevich...
usarussa.
- This foreign tourist speaks weII!
- What exactIy does he say?
I'II be damned if I know.
Fedya!
- We need an interpreter.
- We had one. He was German.
He got drunk as a Iord
when he had to transIate.
- So We cooked him in boiIed water.
- It's not the way to treat interpreters.
Schwedete armie erobern hut.
Answer something.
See, the man goes out of his way.
HitIer kaput!
Go on, Mister Ambassador.
We absoIuteIy agree with you.
- Kemska district.
- Right. AbsoIuteIy.
AbsoIuteIy.
Look, comrade.
Excuse us for a minute.
I wouId Iike to know
what he wants, in generaI terms.
It's very simpIe.
They want Kemsk Region. They went to
war, so, they say, give it to us.
What? Kemsk Region?
Ja, Kemska rejion. Ja, ja...
Take it ifyou want it! Oh, God!
I thought it was something important.
- But you can't do it, benefactor.
- The tsar knows what he's doing.
Our state won't be any poorer for it.
Take it! Take it!
Have mercy, our great tsar,
and aIIow me to speak.
What are you doing, son of a bitch?
Some impostor squandering our Iands!
We shaII never have enough regions
for you!
So whadda I say my king?
Say your king
my warm greetings.
Whadda about Kemsk region?
Such questions, my dear ambassador,
are not decided at the drop of a hat.
We have to consuIt with comrades.
Come back in a few days.
Yes, by the way, here's a IittIe