HOLLYWOOD
STUNTMAN #
# GOIN' DOWN
THE HIGHWAY #
# RARELY ON THE GROUND #
# NEVER UNDER 80 #
# JUDGIN' FROM THE SOUND #
# LATER IN THE EVENING #
# TEARIN' UP THE TOWN #
# ALWAYS SEEMS
TO END UP WITH #
# THE PRETTIEST GIRL
AROUND #
HEY, IT'S LONELY!
WE'RE COMING OVER,
MY MAN!
COME ON WITH THAT
CERVEZA!
GODDAMN!
THAT SON OF A BITCH DIDN'T
EVEN SAY THANK YOU!
WHERE'S THAT BEER?
HEY, SONNY!
ANYBODY IN THERE
NEED A BEER?
JOCKO NEEDS A BEER!
MY ARM'S NOT LONG ENOUGH!
THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
WAIT HERE.
# SOME FOLKS
USED TO TELL HIM #
# HE OUGHT
TO SETTLE DOWN #
# FIND A STEADY WOMAN #
# LAND A JOB IN TOWN #
# SOMEHOW
THAT ATTRACTION #
# NEVER SEEMED
TOO GREAT #
# HE ALWAYS SEEMED
TO LEAVE THEM #
# BEFORE IT GETS
TOO LATE #
PRETTY FANCY!
# YOU CAN TOSS HIM, BLAST HIM,
FLIP HIM, AND TURN HIM #
# SHOOT HIM, HANG HIM,
BURY, AND BURN HIM #
LET ME SEE
YOUR LICENSE, PLEASE.
# HE WON'T
HOLD A GRUDGE #
# THEN HE'LL LOOK YOU
IN THE EYE #
# AND TELL YOU
WITH A SMILE #
# THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
LIKE THE LIFE #
# OF A HOLLYWOOD
STUNTMAN #
# STUNTMAN, STUNTMAN,
STUNTMAN #
SHALL I WAIT,
OFFICER?
YEAH. NO.
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
WE'RE JUST GOING
BACKWARDS.
PULL THAT THING OVER!
DO WHAT?
RIGHT OVER THERE
BY THE CURB!
OK.
I DON'T BELIEVE
I WAS GOING OVER 55.
YOU WERE GOING 55 BACKWARDS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT
AGAINST THE LAW, IS IT?
Officer:
UNSAFE BACKING.
SILLY LAW.
IT'S STILL THE LAW.
SIGN HERE, PLEASE.
RIGHT.
HERE'S YOUR LICENSE.
THANK YOU.
HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
SEE YOU AROUND.
HAVE A GOOD TRIP!
HAPPY LANDINGS!
HAVE A NICE DAY,
OFFICER.
TAKE IT EASY!
HAVE A NICE DRIVE!
UHH!
# WON'T YOU
MOVE ON OVER, MAMA? #
# COME ON
AND MAKE SOME ROOM FOR ME #
# JUMP IN THE BACK
OF MY OLD PONTIAC #
# AND I'LL DRIVE YOU
TO TENNESSEE #
# I'LL PUSH THAT PEDAL
DOWN TO THE FLOOR #
# TURN THE RADIO UP
ALL THE WAY #
# KEEP THIS CAR
IN OVERDRIVE #
# AND WE'LL LET THAT
ROCK 'N ROLL PLAY #
# WHOA! #
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WE APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
STICK AROUND, GET DRUNK,
AND BE SOMEBODY.
THANK YOU.
OH. SO WHERE... OH.
HE'S GOING 75
IN SECOND GEAR.
HE SAYS, "WHERE'S
THAT DAMN DOG NOW?"
HE SAYS, "HE'S
RIGHT ALONGSIDE."
HE SAYS, "WELL, SHIT,
I'LL JUST GIVE HIM... "
HE JUST FLOORS
THAT SON OF BITCH.
WILL YOU SHUT UP?
THAT TABLE SURE IS LOUD
OVER THERE.
MAKING A LOT OF NOISE.
OLD BLUE
IS RIGHT ALONGSIDE,
AND THIS GODDAMN TRUCK
IS COMING.
I'LL TELL YOU, I GOT
50 CENTS IN THE JUKEBOX.
I CAN'T HEAR IT. LET'S
GET OUR MONEY'S WORTH.
THE OLD MAN SAYS, "WELL,
THAT'S HIS ASSHOLE.
SEE, HE AIN'T USED
TO THEM QUICK STOPS."
HEY, GRANDDAD.
HEY, GRANDDAD, I GOT
50 CENTS IN THAT JUKEBOX,
AND ALL I CAN HEAR
IS YOUR MOUTH FLAPPING.
WHAT'D YOU SAY, SON?
I'M A MITE DEAF.
I SAID I'VE GOT 50 CENTS
IN THAT JUKEBOX,
AND ALL I CAN HEAR
IS YOUR MOUTH FLAPPING!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
NOW WE FIGURE
YOU OWE US 50 CENTS.
YOU GUYS
FROM OUT OF TOWN?
UH-HUH. HOUSTON.
OH, YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
CONVENTION.
CONVENTION?
WHAT KIND OF CONVENTION?
A CONVENTION OF ASSHOLES?
A SWAT CONVENTION.
OH.
A SWAT CONVENTION.
SWAT TEAM?
THEY GOING
TO SWAT FLIES?
YOU KNOW HOW TO SAVE
A POLICEMAN FROM DROWNING?
NO.
GOOD.
WHAT ABOUT
MY 50 CENTS, PARTNER?
UH, UM...
STANLEY.
CAN I BORROW
YOUR HARD HAT?
SURE.
I'LL GET YOU
YOUR 50 CENTS.
EXCUSE ME.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB
FOR THE GOLDEN HELMET.
MOO!
MOO!
MOO!
WHOO!
IF YOU WANTED
TO MAKE SOMEBODY
LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE,
BOY, YOU SURE DID.
THAT WAS YOU.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8...
9, 10, 11, 12.
6 AGAINST 12.
7.
7 AGAINST 12.
WELL...
LOOKS LIKE
IT'S A LITTLE UNEVEN.
YOU GUYS WILL HAVE
TO GO BACK TO HOUSTON
AND GET SOME MORE GUYS.
WE MAY BE IN TROUBLE.
WE ARE DEFINITELY
IN TROUBLE.
HOLY SHIT!
A FIGHT!
WHAT'S THAT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
GIVE ME A HAND WILL YOU?
CUTE. REALLY CUTE.
OH!