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STOCKHOLDERS
AND THEIR DISTRIBUTORS
AND THE BANK
THAT IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!
WILL YOU DO THAT, MAX?
I WANT YOU TO TELL THEM
"FORGET ABOUT ALL YOUR MONEY,
IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!"
I'LL TELL THEM THAT NO DAMN
MOVIE IS WORTH A MAN'S LIFE!
AND I'LL TELL THEM THAT UNLESS
I CAN SHOOT THIS PICTURE
THE WAY I WANT TO,
AND THAT MEANS THIS STUNT,
THEN I TAKE A WALK.
AND WE'LL SEE WHO WALKS,
MR. BERNS...
YOU OR I.
I'M SORRY, MAX.
OH, WHAT THE HELL,
SONNY.
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU KNOW
THE OLD SAYING...
Both: "YOU'LL NEVER WORK
IN THIS TOWN AGAIN."
UNLESS
THEY NEED YOU.
THERE YOU GO,
CULLY.
THANKS. IF YOU'RE STILL MAD,
I CAN JUST LEAVE--
SHUT UP AND
SIT DOWN.
KIND OF EARLY IN THE DAY
FOR THAT HARD STUFF, ISN'T IT?
I'M WORKING OUT.
I'M WORKING ON MY
LEFT ARM THIS MORNING.
I'LL GET AROUND
TO MY RIGHT ARM
THIS AFTERNOON.
YEAH. YOU'VE HEARD WHAT'S
HAPPENING, HAVEN'T YOU?
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
THAT NEW KID, SKI, THEY
GOT HIM GAFFING THE SHOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE.
THEY CANCELED THAT CAR STUNT.
AT LEAST TEMPORARILY.
YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IT'S A 2-MAN STUNT.
AND THERE AIN'T NOBODY CRAZY
ENOUGH TO RIDE WITH THAT KID,
ESPECIALLY WITH NO ROCKET
STRAPPED TO HIS BUTT.
AND YOU CAN BET
YOUR ASS,
YOUR COWBOY HAT,
AND YOUR HOUSE CAT,
THEY'RE GONNA BE COMING AFTER
YOU TO GET YOU TO DO THE STUNT.
YOU GONNA DO THE STUNT?
YOU KNOW WHAT, CULLY?
THERE'S A WHOLE NEW BREED
OF STUNTMAN COMING ALONG.
THEY'RE YOUNGER...
STRONGER...
TOUGHER THAN US.
THEY DON'T TAKE PILLS,
THEY DON'T DRINK,
THEY DON'T...
THEY DON'T TAKE SHOTS.
THEY USE LITTLE
POCKET CALCULATORS.
WE DON'T WATCH OUT,
THEY'RE GONNA BLOW US
RIGHT OUT OF THE TUB.
YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
YOU GONNA DO THE STUNT?
Max: BOY, I NEVER REALIZED
THERE WERE SO MANY GAGS
AT THE END OF THE PICTURE.
SO INVOLVED. FIRE GAGS.
WHOLE TOWN BEING BLOWN UP.
50 STUNTMEN DOING FALLS.
ALL RIGHT, MAX...
WHAT'S THE REAL REASON
YOU CAME OUT HERE?
TO ASK ME TO COME BACK
AND GAFF THE SHOW?
IT'S THE ROCKET CAR GAG,
SONNY.
THE ROCKET CAR.
IT'S A 2-MAN JOB JUST
LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAID.
NOBODY IN TOWN
WILL TOUCH IT,
AND ROGER'S WORRIED
THE SKI'LL GET HURT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
ROGER'S WORRIED ABOUT
GETTING THE SHOT.
ROGER'S WORRIED ABOUT
FINISHING HIS PICTURE...
SO HE TALKED YOU
INTO COMING OUT HERE
TO ASK ME TO COME BACK
AND DO THE GAG.
YOU GO TELL ROGER TO GO
SIT ON A SHORT STICK.
WELL, IF YOU WON'T
DO IT FOR ROGER--
I'D DO IT FOR YOU?
I'D APPRECIATE IT.
YOU'D APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAX?
YOU USED TO BE TOUGH.
NOBODY COULD TELL YOU
HOW TO MAKE A PICTURE.
AND NOBODY GOT HURT
ON YOUR PICTURES.
IF I DON'T DELIVER
THIS PICTURE,
I'LL BE THE PRODUCER
WHO BLEW THE BIGGEST AND
HOTTEST PROJECT IN TOWN.
ALL WASHED UP. FINISHED.
I'M TOO OLD TO GO BACK
TO SELLING DOOR-TO-DOOR.
OK, MAX.
YOU GOT ME.
Gwen: YOU GONNA DO IT?
YEAH.
I'M GONNA DO IT.
I WON'T BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK.
HEY, SONNY.
HOW YOU DOIN', MY MAN?
JEFFREY, GARY.
HOW'S IT HANGIN',
SONNY?
DAN.
MAX SAID YOU
WERE COMING IN.
NICE TO SEE YOU BACK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY BABY?
IT'S BIG.
LOOKS LIKE ONE OF
KING KONG'S SUPPOSITORIES.
HOW YOU DOING, SKI?
FINE, SONNY.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
GOOD.
LET ME TELL YOU GUYS
HOW THIS THING WORKS.
NOW, SONNY, YOUR JOB IS
TO DIAL UP THE PRESSURE.
YOU'LL NEED 1,500 POUNDS.
THAT LEAVES SKI FREE TO DRIVE.
WHEN THE PRESSURE'S RIGHT,
HIT THE SWITCH,
AND YOU ARE GONE.
HOW'S IT HANDLE?
I HAVEN'T
DRIVEN IT YET.
LET'S TRY IT OUT.
I HEARD THAT.
HOW'S IT FEEL?
UH, PULLS A LITTLE
TO THE LEFT.
ANYTHING ELSE?
THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER
DON'T WORK.
YOU JUST BETTER HOPE THAT
CIGARETTE LIGHTER WORKS.
WE'LL BE FOLLOWING
AN EXPLOSIVES TRUCK.
DRIVER'LL JUMP OUT
AND IT'LL BLOW.
SUPPOSED TO COLLAPSE THE BRIDGE
FROM THE SUPERSTRUCTURE HERE
ALL THE WAY
TO THE OTHER BANK.
YOU FIGURED OUT ON THAT
POCKET CALCULATOR OF YOURS
HOW MANY Gs WE'LL BE
PULLING WHEN WE LAND?
8

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