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THINK WE'RE BAD,
YOU SHOULD SEE THE--
DON'T YELL
IN MY EAR!
JESUS CHRIST.
WHAT THE HELL
IS THAT?
LOOK AT THIS.
LOOK WHAT'S COMING.
STOP THAT THING!
SHOOT IT! KILL IT!
WANT SOME BREAKFAST?
[BELCHES]
OH, GOD.
GET THAT CIRCUMCISED,
WILL YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
REPORTING FOR WORK.
WHAT?
REPORTING FOR WORK.
TO WORK?
YEAH. REMEMBER LAST NIGHT,
YOU TOLD ME TO COME TO WORK?
DID I DO THAT?
I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
OH.
WELL, YOU WERE
PRETTY BOMBED.
WANT ME TO LEAVE?
NO. I DON'T WANT
YOU TO LEAVE.
WE'LL FIND YOU
SOME WORK.
Tony: ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY'S READY NOW.
ROLL THE CAMERAS.
CAMERAS READY.
SPEED. MARKING ABLE.
AND BAKER.
ALL RIGHT.
BACKGROUND! ACTION!
CUT IT! CUT IT!
OK?
DIDN'T DO A THING FOR ME,
HOOPER.
MISSED BY A MILE.
BORING, BORING, BORING.
I'M NOT A MIND READER.
IF YOU'D TELL ME
WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT,
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
LOOK, YOU'RE
THE STUNT GAFFER,
SO GAFF.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
IT'D TAKE SOME TIME,
THOUGH.
WHO ARE YOU?
HE'S A NEW MAN. SKI.
HE'S A GOOD MAN.
ANYTHING WILL BE BETTER
THAN WHAT I JUST SAW.
SO LET'S TRY ONE.
THANKS TO THE KID HERE,
THE POLLACK HERE,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO SIT AROUND ALL DAY
WAITING FOR NIGHT
TO SHOOT.
GIVES ME TIME
TO GET OVER MY HANGOVER.
GUYS, UH,
IT'S ROGER'S BIRTHDAY.
NO, NO, NO.
I THOUGHT WE COULD
ALL MAYBE PITCH IN
AND THINK OF SOMETHING
TO GIVE HIM.
HOW ABOUT VD?
OH, I GOT AN IDEA.
I KNOW SOMETHING
THAT WOULD BE PERFECT.
EVERYBODY COUGH UP
A LITTLE MONEY.
 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROGER 
YOU KNOW, I...
Hooper: BROUGHT SOMETHING
YOU NEED, ROGER.
WELL, WHAT MORE
CAN I SAY,
BUT I'M VERY,
VERY TOUCHED,
AND THANK YOU?
Tony: THIS FIRE SCENE
IS VERY DANGEROUS
WE WANT EVERYBODY
ON THEIR TOES.
WE DON'T WANT
ANYBODY HURT.
Roger: OK, ACTION!
REMEMBER,
THAT'S GASOLINE
IN THERE, SONNY.
RIGHT.
BE CAREFUL.
BLESS YOUR COCK.
HELLO, GORGEOUS.
SONNY, WILL YOU GET ME
OUT OF HERE?
YOU BET
YOUR SWEET BIPPY.
NYUM NYUM...
WILL YOU
GET SERIOUS?
NO TIME FOR THAT.
Tony: ARE THEY OK?
I CAN'T SEE
THROUGH THE FLAMES.
Tony on bullhorn:
CUT IT, CUT IT!
ALL RIGHT, WHAT,
ARE YOU GUYS WAITING
FOR AN INVITATION
TO PUT THAT FIRE OUT?
L.A.'S GOT ENOUGH SMOG!
YOU KNOW, SONNY,
I LOVE STUNTMEN.
GET THAT FIRE OUT!
I WANT EVERYBODY
TO STAY BACK HERE--
DON'T GET--DON'T GET
NEAR THOSE FLAMES!
TONY, GET HOOPER
OVER HERE FOR ME,
WILL YOU?
UH, HOOPER,
THAT BIT AT THE COMPLEX
TOMORROW,
WHO'S SET FOR IT?
BOBBY BASS.
HMM. WOULD YOU MIND
IF SKI DID IT INSTEAD?
YES, I WOULD MIND, ROGER.
I'M THE STUNT COORDINATOR
ON THIS PICTURE,
AND I SAY
WHO DOES THE STUNTS
AND WHO DOESN'T
DO THE STUNTS,
AND I'D LIKE BOBBY BASS.
HMM. WELL, I DON'T WANT TO
INFRINGE ON YOUR AUTHORITY,
BUT I--I REALLY WOULD
LIKE SKI TO DO THAT GAG...
OK?
Man: 6-3, LOUIE.
Tony: OK, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE READY TO MAKE ONE.
ROLL THE CAMERAS.
SPEED. "A" CAMERA.
BAKER!
ACTION!
CUT IT!
CUT IT!
BRING THE STUNTMAN
ON HERE, PLEASE.
GREAT, KEN.
GO DOWNSTAIRS.
RELAX. WONDERFUL.
HEY, GOOD LUCK, SKI.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GOTTA
MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD, OK?
ALL THE PREPARATION
YOU NEED.
WE'LL GO DOWN
AND SET UP THE CAMERAS.
YOU GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE,
WE'RE IN
THE WRONG PLACE.
NOW MOVE IT
ALL DOWNSTAIRS.
LET'S GO! LET'S MOVE IT!
YOU READY, SKI?
Man: HE'LL BE READY
IN A SECOND.
TONY, HE'S READY!
ROLL THE CAMERAS.
"A" CAMERA MARKER.
COME ON, GOOD BUDDY.
NOT TOO SHABBY.
[IMITATING JIMMY STEWART]
WHY, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
HELL, WE PROBABLY
COULD'VE DONE THAT
WHEN WE WERE HIS AGE,
'CEPT THEY DIDN'T HAVE
BUILDINGS THAT TALL.
Roger: CUT IT!
CUT IT!
Ken:
WELL DONE, KID.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,
HE'S PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
YEP. I HAVE
TO ADMIT IT.
PRETTY DAMN YOUNG,
TOO.
YEAH.
I HATE HIM.
I JUST HATE HIM.
HANDSOME LITTLE SHIT.
WELL?
I THOUGHT
IT WAS A LITTLE SLOW.
IF YOU DON'T MIND,
UH...
I'D LIKE TO HAVE
ANOTHER ONE, OK?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YEAH, I'M KIDDING.
COME AROUND TOMORROW.
I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW AN OLD MAN

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