PRETTY!
HEY, YOU REALLY GOT
A STUNT REEL?
YEAH, WANNA SEE IT?
I WOULD.
TONIGHT?
WAIT! WAIT!
HEY, FELLAS!
Man: I WANNA SEE IT.
Gwen: WAIT A MINUTE!
IT'S 1:30 IN THE MORNING!
YEAH, YOU WHIP UP
SOME EGGS FOR THE GUYS,
AND WE'LL HAVE
A LITTLE PARTY.
EGGS?
WE JUST ATE.
OR WE'LL JUST DRINK.
AH, WHAT THE HELL.
PARTY AT MY HOUSE!
IT ALWAYS LEAVES
THEM SPEECHLESS.
AH, IT WAS GREAT,
SONNY.
THANK YOU.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE DONE
JUST ABOUT EVERY GAG
THERE EVER WAS TO DO.
WELL...
ME AND JOCKO...
YEAH!
BELIEVE I WILL.
ME AND JOCKO, WE...
WE NEVER TURNED DOWN
A STUNT.
NEVER TURNED DOWN
A GAG.
I HAD IT
IN MY WILL ONCE,
YOU KNOW, WHEN I THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA, UH...
DIE.
I'D HAVE--YEAH--
HAVE SOMETHING TO LEAVE
AND I PUT IT IN THE WILL.
I SAID--I WANTED IT
ON THE CEMENT.
ON THE THING,
ON THE ROCK.
TOMBSTONE.
TOMBSTONE!
"JOCKO DOYLE NEVER
TURNED DOWN A GAG."
SEE?
[BELCHES]
PERFECT.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN
A HELL OF AN IDEA.
PERFECT.
PERFECT.
PERFECT.
[SHOUTING YAWN]
AND...
OF COURSE
I TURNED DOWN...
WHAT I DID TURN DOWN
WAS EVERYTHING ELSE,
BUT, UH, SHIT.
GOTTA KEEP THE GOOD TIMES
A-ROLLIN'.
YEAH.
IS THAT WHY
YOU DID IT ALL--
'CAUSE
OF THE GOOD TIMES?
WELL, YOU DON'T WANNA
KNOCK GOOD TIMES, KID.
I MEAN,
WHEN I GET SO DAMN OLD
I'M JUST SITTING IN
A ROCKING CHAIR ON A PORCH,
I'M GONNA HAVE
SOME NICE MEMORIES.
I TELL YOU,
WHAT THE HELL ELSE
IS THERE?
I DON'T KNOW. JUST TO...
MAYBE PROVE CERTAIN
THINGS CAN BE DONE
OR THAT A MAN CAN DO
JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
HE PUTS HIS MIND TO.
THAT IS TOO DEEP FOR ME.
Sonny: SUN!
SUN'S COME UP!
IT'S DAYLIGHT!
Hooper: YES.
HEY.
YOU OUGHTA
DRINK MORE.
NOTHIN' HURTS
WHEN YOU'RE NUMB.
WHERE'S THE KID?
HE'S STANDING
IN THERE...
STARING AVARICIOUSLY
INTO YOUR TROPHY CASE--
LITTLE TRICKLES
OF SLOBBER
RUNNING DOWN HERE.
NOT SO GODDAMN FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, YOU WEREN'T
A HELL OF LOT DIFFERENT
A FEW YEARS AGO.
20 YEARS AGO.
20 YEARS AGO.
YOU--YOUR LITTLE EYES
WAS SPINNING AROUND
AND BEADY,
LOOKING FOR FAME
AND FORTUNE.
SHIT.
AND I KNOW DAMN WELL, TOO,
'CAUSE I WAS SITTING THERE
MAKING $20,000 A YEAR,
THE TOP DOG
AROUND THIS PLACE,
AND EVERY TIME I LOOKED
OVER MY SHOULDER,
THERE YOU ARE
JUMPING UP AND DOWN
FIGURING OUT SOME WAY
YOU CAN TOP
WHATEVER GAG I DID.
WELL...
WELL...
WELL, YOU GONNA MARRY
MY DAUGHTER?
OHH, GOD DAMN, JOCKO.
I WAS MARRIED ONCE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
IT WAS A DISASTER.
I...
I FELT LIKE A FAILURE,
YOU KNOW?
I'M SCARED TO DEATH
OF MARRIAGE.
'SIDES THAT,
NOBODY'S GETTING MARRIED
TODAY ANYWAY.
WHO AIN'T
GETTING MARRIED?
NOBODY'S
GETTING MARRIED!
WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN
NOBODY'S GETTING MARRIED?
NAME ME SOMEBODY
THAT AIN'T GETTING MARRIED.
NAME ME 2 PEOPLE
THAT AIN'T GETTING MARRIED.
EVERYBODY'S--PEOPLE GET--
FAGGOTS ARE GETTING MARRIED,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN
NOBODY'S GETTING MARRIED?
I LOVE HER, JOCKO...
BUT I GOTTA DO THINGS
IN MY OWN TIME.
YOU'RE A HORNY SON
OF A BITCH, YOU.
I GOTTA DO THINGS
IN MY OWN TIME
AND MY OWN WAY.
YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S WHAT I DONE, SEE?
IN MY TIME, MY WAY.
I WASN'T EVEN HOME
WHEN SHE WAS BORN.
LISTEN, YOU...
DIDN'T YOU EVER
WANT THAT?
DIDN'T YOU EVER--
HAVEN'T YOU EVER
BEEN WITH WOMEN
YOU WANNA HAVE
A BABY WITH?
YOU KNOW,
HAV--HAVE THAT...
THAT FEELING?
ALL THE TIME, JOCKO.
ALL THE TIME.
Max: NOW, LISTEN, ROGER,
WE GOTTA HAVE A TALK.
THE STUDIO'S BUGGING ME
ABOUT THE BUDGET.
THE SCHEDULE'S--
LATER, MAX.
REALLY.
I'VE GOTTA GET
THIS FIRST SHOT.
TONY, LET'S SET UP
THIS FIRST ONE, OK?
LISTEN, ROGER...
MEDIC!
OH, THANK YOU,
MY LOVE.
Hooper: AHH!
THANK YOU, ARCHIE.
GOOD MORNING,
MR. BERNS.
WHY THAT PUNK?
WHO?
WHO? ROGER.
IF HIS LAST PICTURE
HADN'T GROSSED $100 MILLION,
I'D KICK HIM
RIGHT IN THE ASS.
WELL, DO IT, MAX.
WE'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR MONTHS.
BOY, YOU GUYS
LOOK LIKE GARBAGE.
YOU SHOULD SEE
THROUGH MY EYES.
IT'S METROCOLOR.
YEAH, WELL, I JUST GOT
A LITTLE HEADACHE.
YOU