TALKS,
OR DIGS HOLES.
WHY ARE YOU SCARED
OF DOCTORS?
I'M SCARED
OF DENTISTS, TOO.
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU'RE SCARED OF.
YOU'RE SCARED OF WHAT
HE'S GOING TO TELL YOU.
OH, BALLS.
BALLS, BALLS.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
SEE HIM EVENTUALLY, ANYWAY.
LOOK, I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL BUY THE DRINK I WAS
GOING TO BUY YOU LAST NIGHT,
IF YOU'LL JUST DO ME
YOUR JIMMY STEWART IMITATION.
JUST DO A LITTLE
JIMMY STEWART FOR ME.
[IMITATES JIMMY STEWART]
THAT'S A GOOD DEAL.
HEY, I'LL DO
JIMMY STEWART,
AND YOU DO ROY ROGERS'
SIDEKICK.
[IMITATES GABBY HAYES]
ROY'S SIDEKICK?
YOU KNOW, ROY...
ROY IS A GOOD OLD BOY,
BUT HE...
HE HAD TRIGGER STUFFED,
YOU KNOW?
SO WHEN YOU DIE,
I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU
STUFFED.
YOU WOULDN'T.
AND I'M GOING
TO STUFF EVERYTHING
BUT YOUR OLD
WING-DINGER THERE.
[IMITATES JIMMY STEWART]
THAT'S THE PART
THAT NEEDS STUFFING.
YOU OUGHT TO STUFF IT
EVERY NIGHT.
WELL, I'LL LEAVE THAT
UP TO YOU.
I'M A LITTLE
TOO OLD FOR IT.
I AIN'T GOING TO HOLD IT,
I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
HELL, NO.
Man: BANKERS' HOURS,
EH, SONNY?
HEY, IT'S A TASTE EARLY
FOR THE PALOMINO, ISN'T IT?
Sonny: NOT FOR ME,
OLD COCK.
HEY, I WANT
TO TELL YOU,
THE DOG WAS PERFECT.
YOU WERE A LITTLE...
HELLO, JIMBO.
HOW YOU DOING, SONNY?
WHAT YOU DOING OUT HERE
WITH MY LADY
WHEN I'M NOT AROUND?
THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS.
NOT AS DANGEROUS
AS DOING STUNTS.
YES, IT IS.
WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, PARD?
I WANTED TO MAKE SURE
YOU WERE GOING TO DO
THAT CHARITY STUNT SHOW
WITH US SATURDAY.
OH, I'D LOVE TO, BUT
I'M GOING ON A MOTOCROSS.
IT'S FOR THE BENEFIT
OF THE BOYS HOME.
YEAH, THAT'S
REAL TOUCHING, JIMBO,
BUT I'M GOING
TO GET ON MY BIKE
AND GO RIGHT ACROSS
THE DESERT.
I'VE GOT SOMEBODY WHO WOULD
REALLY LIKE TO MEET YOU.
JUST IDOLIZES YOU.
KNOWS EVERYTHING
YOU'VE EVER DONE.
WHO'S THAT?
ONE OF THE BOYS
FROM THE HOME.
I'LL JUST GET HIM.
YEAH. WHY DIDN'T HE
BRING VIOLINS?
WELL, HONEY, IT'S A BOY
FROM THE BOYS HOME.
THEY NEED SOMEONE TO
PATTERN THEIR LIVES AFTER,
TO LOOK UP TO, YOU KNOW?
YEAH.
WHAT A CHEAP SHOT.
PETE, MEET SONNY.
HIYA, PETE.
SONNY,
HOW YOU DOING?
REAL GOOD.
HOW YOU DOING?
FINE.
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?
I CAN DO A STUNT.
YOU CAN DO A STUNT?
YEAH.
LET ME SEE IT.
OK, GET ON THERE.
SHOOT HIM.
DO WHAT?
SHOOT HIM.
BANG.
OHH!
THAT'S TERRIFIC,
BUT I'M GOING ON
THE MOTOCROSS SATURDAY.
WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE
TO GIVE YOUR GAGS
TO THAT HOT NEW KID
WITH STUNTS UNLIMITED.
OH, YEAH?
HOW OLD
ARE YOU, KID?
I'M STILL DEAD.
OH, RIGHT. YEAH.
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE DEAD ANYMORE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I'M 8, SONNY.
8?
YEAH.
OK. I'LL BE THERE
SATURDAY.
HOORAY!
GIVE ME 5.
SEE YOU SATURDAY.
THANKS, SONNY.
YOU'RE ALL HEART.
YEAH.
SONNY, WHAT
A WONDERFUL GESTURE.
EH, I'M
A WONDERFUL PERSON.
AH, GOD.
Announcer: WELCOME
TO THE FIFTH ANNUAL
STUNTMAN'S BENEFIT SHOW.
AND UP THE STREET TO
YOUR LEFT, HERE THEY COME.
Announcer: AND PAY
PARTICULAR ATTENTION
TO THE STAGECOACH DRIVER
BILLY BURTON,
THE BEST MULE SKINNER
IN HOLLYWOOD.
Announcer:
I SEE YOU LIKED IT.
HEY, LADY.
OH, HELLO, DAD.
WHERE'D YOU GET
ALL THEM HOUSE APES?
UH, KIDS? WHERE ARE
MY KIDS HERE?
UH, THIS IS MY FATHER.
Children:
HI.
IS SONNY COMING WITH DANCER?
YEAH. YOU KNOW WHY
HE'S HERE, DON'T YOU?
HAVE YOU SEEN
THAT NEW KID WORK?
YEAH. NOW THAT SON OF A BITCH
KNOWS HOW I FELT WHEN HE--
DAD!
WHAT?
THE LANGUAGE.
OH, SHIT. SORRY. DAMN.
IGNORE HIM. HE'S
A DEGENERATE, YOU KNOW.
Announcer: NOW HOW ABOUT
A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE
FOR THESE 2 YOUNG LADIES?
THAT'S ALL THE PAY
THEY'RE GOING TO GET.
LOOK OUT,
IT'S BLACK BART,
THE MEANEST HOMBRE
WEST OF THE PECOS.
WHAT WE NEED NOW
IS A HERO
WHO CAN STOP HIM.
HERE HE IS--
JUST IN TIME.
NO!
Announcer: THAT MAN
IS ONE OF THE TRUE LEGENDS
OF THE STUNT WORLD--
MR. JOCKO DOYLE.
HERE HE IS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE GREATEST
STUNTMAN ALIVE--
SONNY HOOPER
AND HIS FAMOUS HORSE, DANCER.
THEY'VE