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FIRED.
RIGHT,
MR. BERNS.
SPECTACULAR!
WONDERFUL! I... I KNEW
YOU COULD DO IT.
I NEVER SAW
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
IT WAS WONDERFUL!
WHAT CAN I SAY?
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
HOOPER, CAN I SPEAK
TO YOU FOR A SEC?
LOOK, I KNOW WE DIDN'T
GET ALONG ON THIS PICTURE.
I ALSO KNOW YOU THINK
I'M A TYRANNICAL EGOMANIAC.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S TRUE,
BUT FILMS ARE
TINY PIECES OF TIME,
AND WE CAPTURED IT.
I ONLY DO IT
FOR ONE REASON,
TO MAKE THE BEST
MOVIE I CAN.
BECAUSE I'M A PRO,
JUST LIKE YOU.
I'M ALSO BIG ENOUGH
TO APOLOGIZE.
AND I KNOW YOU'RE
BIG ENOUGH TO ACCEPT.
WELL, ROGER...
AS USUAL...
YOU'RE WRONG.
# HE ALWAYS IS THE BAD GUY #
# WHO GETS IT IN THE END #
# HE'S OUT THERE
STUFFIN' HORSES #
# OR FALLIN' OFF
A TRAIN #
# HE NEVER WON A GUNFIGHT #
# A SCUFFLE OR A BRAWL #
# FOR BEING SUCH A LOSER #
# HOOPER'S
REALLY GOT IT ALL #
# YOU CAN TOSS HIM, BLAST HIM,
FLIP HIM, AND TURN HIM #
# SHOOT HIM, HANG HIM,
BURY AND BURN HIM #
# CHANCES ARE,
HOOPER'S BACK FOR MORE #
# RUN HIM OUT
ACROSS THE GROUND #
# TAKE A TRUCK,
RUN HIM DOWN #
# HE AIN'T EASY #
# HE'S UP AND GONE #
# YOU CAN HIT HIM, KICK HIM,
GENERALLY ABUSE HIM #
# SET HIM ON FIRE,
IT WILL AMUSE HIM #
# HEAVEN KNOWS,
HE WON'T HOLD A GRUDGE #
# HE'LL LOOK YOU
IN THE EYE #
# AND TELL YOU
WITH A SMILE #
# THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE THE
LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD STUNTMAN #
# SOME FOLKS
USED TO TELL HIM #
# HE OUGHT TO SETTLE DOWN #
# FIND A STEADY WOMAN #
# LAND A JOB IN TOWN #
# BUT SOMEHOW
THAT ATTRACTION #
# NEVER SEEMED TOO GREAT #
# YOU ALWAYS SEE HIM LEAVING
JUST BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE #
# GOING DOWN THE HIGHWAY #
# RARELY ON THE GROUND #
# NEVER UNDER 80 #
# JUDGING FROM THE SOUND #
# LATER IN THE EVENING #
# HE'S TEARING UP THE TOWN #
# ALWAYS SEEMS TO END UP WITH
THE PRETTIEST GIRL AROUND #
# YOU CAN TOSS HIM, BLAST HIM,
FLIP HIM, AND TURN HIM #
# SHOOT HIM, HANG HIM,
BURY AND BURN HIM #
# CHANCES ARE
HOOPER'S BACK FOR MORE #
# RUN HIM OUT
ACROSS THE GROUND #
# TAKE A TRUCK,
RUN HIM DOWN #
# HE AIN'T EASY #
# HE'S UP AND GONE #
# YOU CAN HIT HIM, KICK HIM,
GENERALLY ABUSE HIM #
# SET HIM ON FIRE,
IT WILL AMUSE HIM #
# HEAVEN KNOWS,
HE WON'T HOLD A GRUDGE #
# HE'LL LOOK YOU
IN THE EYE #
# AND TELL YOU
WITH A SMILE #
# THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE THE
LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD STUNTMAN #
# HE'LL LOOK YOU
IN THE EYE #
# AND TELL YOU
WITH A SMILE #
# THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
LIKE THE LIFE #
# NOTHING LIKE THE LIFE #
# THERE AIN'T NOTHING
LIKE THE LIFE #
# OF A HOLLYWOOD
STUNTMAN... #Woman: GOOD LUCK, SONNY!
Man: DO IT TO 'EM,
HOOPER!
Man: OK, NOW LOOK ALIVE.
HERE COMES THE DIRECTOR.
Woman: DID YOU HAVE
A GOOD LUNCH?
YOU ALL SET?
Man: READY.
6, 3, LOUIE.
OK, HOOPER, I WANT YOU
TO STAND BY. WE'RE ABOUT SET.
ROLL THE CAMERAS.
ROLL 'EM , JACK.
SCENE 2, TAKE ONE,
"B" CAMERA. MARK.
WE'RE READY TO MAKE
THE SHOT, ROGER.
ACTION.
ACTION.
COME ON, HOOPER. COME ON.
CUT.
DID YOU GET IT?
GOOD.
PRINT IT.
ALL RIGHT, TONY, LET'S GET
READY FOR THE NEXT SETUP.
GET THE FIRST TEAM
IN THERE.
GET ME THEM, CHARLIE.
DON'T MOVE, HOOPER!
DON'T MOVE!
DON'T MOVE.
TAKE A PICTURE, JACK.
HOLD STILL, HOOPER!
YOU ALL RIGHT?
TERRIFIC.
NO, I'M SERIOUS.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
I INVENTED THAT STUNT.
THERE AIN'T NOBODY IN
THE WORLD THAT DOES IT BETTER.
AND YOU SAY THAT
IN ALL HUMILITY, HUH?
I GIVE GREAT HUMBLE.
IT'S OK--
NOT A SCRATCH.
YOU SURE?
HE'S NOT TALKING
ABOUT YOUR ASS.
OK, LET'S HAVE
THE FIRST TEAM!
WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE
FOR A LITTLE OF THAT?
Hooper: 2 NIPPLES
FOR A DIME.
SONNY, THAT WAS
TERRIFIC.
NO, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
TEACH ME TO DO
THAT GAG SOMETIME.
HE WANTS TO LEARN
HOW TO DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE
UNDERNEATH A TRUCK.
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
SO? I WANT TO RIDE
UNDER TRUCKS.
COME ON,
TEACH ME SOME GAGS.
OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
WEST, CAN I HAVE YOU
IN POSITION OVER HERE?
RIGHT AWAY, TONY.
I'LL MAKE A DEAL
WITH YOU.
I WON'T DO ANY ACTING
IF YOU DON'T DO
ANY STUNTS, OK?
Tony: ADAM,

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