..
SO HE TALKED YOU
INTO COMING OUT HERE
TO ASK ME TO COME BACK
AND DO THE GAG.
YOU GO TELL ROGER TO GO
SIT ON A SHORT STICK.
WELL, IF YOU WON'T
DO IT FOR ROGER...
I'D DO IT FOR YOU?
I'D APPRECIATE IT.
YOU'D APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAX?
YOU USED TO BE TOUGH.
NOBODY COULD TELL YOU
HOW TO MAKE A PICTURE.
AND NOBODY GOT HURT
ON YOUR PICTURES.
IF I DON'T DELIVER
THIS PICTURE,
I'LL BE THE PRODUCER
WHO BLEW THE BIGGEST AND
HOTTEST PROJECT IN TOWN.
ALL WASHED UP. FINISHED.
I'M TOO OLD TO GO BACK
TO SELLING DOOR-TO-DOOR.
OK, MAX.
YOU GOT ME.
Gwen: YOU GONNA DO IT?
YEAH.
I'M GONNA DO IT.
I WON'T BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK.
HEY, SONNY.
HOW YOU DOIN', MY MAN?
JEFFREY, GARY.
HOW'S IT HANGIN',
SONNY?
DAN.
MAX SAID YOU
WERE COMING IN.
NICE TO SEE YOU BACK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY BABY?
IT'S BIG.
LOOKS LIKE ONE OF
KING KONG'S SUPPOSITORIES.
HOW YOU DOING, SKI?
FINE, SONNY.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
GOOD.
LET ME TELL YOU GUYS
HOW THIS THING WORKS.
NOW, SONNY, YOUR JOB IS
TO DIAL UP THE PRESSURE.
YOU'LL NEED 1,500 POUNDS.
THAT LEAVES SKI FREE TO DRIVE.
WHEN THE PRESSURE'S RIGHT,
HIT THE SWITCH,
AND YOU ARE GONE.
HOW'S IT HANDLE?
I HAVEN'T
DRIVEN IT YET.
LET'S TRY IT OUT.
I HEARD THAT.
HOW'S IT FEEL?
UH, PULLS A LITTLE
TO THE LEFT.
ANYTHING ELSE?
THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER
DON'T WORK.
YOU JUST BETTER HOPE THAT
CIGARETTE LIGHTER WORKS.
WE'LL BE FOLLOWING
AN EXPLOSIVES TRUCK.
DRIVER'LL JUMP OUT
AND IT'LL BLOW.
SUPPOSED TO COLLAPSE THE BRIDGE
FROM THE SUPERSTRUCTURE HERE
ALL THE WAY
TO THE OTHER BANK.
YOU FIGURED OUT ON THAT
POCKET CALCULATOR OF YOURS
HOW MANY Gs WE'LL BE
PULLING WHEN WE LAND?
8 TO 10 IF WE LAND
ON OUR WHEELS.
BETTER MAKE SURE WE HIT
THAT RAMP JUST RIGHT,
OTHERWISE IT WOULD VEER OFF
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
OR IT COULD JUST GO
HEADFIRST INTO THAT BANK.
IF THAT HAPPENS, THERE'S
JUST ONE THING TO DO.
WHAT'S THAT?
PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS
AND KISS YOUR ASS GOOD-BYE.
IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE.
I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.
YOU DON'T DRINK, DO YOU?
I'M WILLING TO START.
DAMN GOOD TIME TO DO IT.
Ski: YOU KNOW, ALL THIS
HANGING AROUND WITH YOU
IS STARTING
TO RUB OFF ON ME.
HOW'S THAT?
WELL, A COUPLE WAYS...
EXCUSE ME.
MY FIRST MARRIAGE
YOU KNOW,
IS MORE THAN LIKELY
IN THE SHITTER.
OH, YEAH.
AND I'M LEARNING
TO DRINK AND LIKING IT.
YEAH. WELL...
MY PRESENT RELATIONSHIP,
UH, IS NOT GOOD.
ACTUALLY, IT'S IN
THE SHITTER, TOO.
WELL, WHAT THE HELL
IS IT ABOUT STUNTMEN
AND THEIR WIVES
AND RELATIONSHIPS?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A LITTLE LIKE...
IT'S A LITTLE LIKE
DRINKIN' AND DRIVIN'.
EVENTUALLY, THERE'S GOING
TO BE A HELL OF A WRECK.
HEY, GUYS.
HEY. OH, HEY.
THIS YOUR CAR?
YEAH.
LOOKS PRETTY FAST.
LOOKS AIN'T
DECEIVING.
FROM THE LOOKS
OF THEM BEER CANS,
I'D SAY YOU TWO GUYS
ARE A LITTLE DRUNK.
LIKE I SAID,
LOOKS AIN'T DECEIVING,
YOU OLD FART.
BETTER LET ME
HANDLE THIS.
I HOPE YOU AREN'T PLANNING ON
DOING ANY MORE DRIVING TODAY.
WE AREN'T GONNA DO
ANY MORE DRIVING.
I JUST CALLED MY MOTHER,
AND SHE'S GONNA COME
OUT HERE AND PICK US UP
AND TAKE US HOME. I'M
GONNA LEAVE THE CAR HERE
AND GO ON HOME WITH
MY MOTHER. HA HA HA!
YOUR MOTHER?
YEAH.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
OLD FART.
SO THE QUEEN SAYS
TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER...
"I GOT A BROTHER-IN-LAW
THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPHER."
THE PHOTOGRAPHER SAYS,
"THAT'S NOT SO STRANGE,
I GOT A BROTHER-IN-LAW
THAT'S A QUEEN." HA HA!
OH, LOOK WHO WE GOT HERE.
UH-OH.
HOWDY, YOU OLD FART.
AFTERNOON, OFFICER.
NICE DAY, ISN'T IT?
PULL UP!
RIGHT OVER THERE!
WHAT'S THAT?
I SAID,
PULL OVER UP FRONT!
PULL OVER UP FRONT,
THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
GOTCHA!
SHALL WE?
SAY GOOD-BYE
TO THE NICE OFFICER.
BYE-BYE, NICE OFFICER!
GREAT GOD ALMIGHTY!
HEADQUARTERS!
NEVER MIND.
Roger on radio: ALL RIGHT,
TONY, I'M COMING DOWN.
GET HOOPER AND SKI
READY, WILL YOU?
ALL RIGHT,
MOVE IT OUT OF HERE!
THE HELICOPTER
IS COMING DOWN!
Roger: TONY, DO I HAVE
TO DO EVERYTHING