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What? You call this a kiss?
Leave me alone, bitch.
You have a strange relationship.
It would have worked without kissing...
I just did that... For fun.
- Who was the guy who shot at you?
- That was Shaitan.
In your language
you say "Shaitanich" (Satan).
All things are connected in the world.
There are genies who fulfill wishes, and Shaitans
who do the opposite. - The opposite?
They make wishes not to come true, never.
For example you. You want to have a lot of money.
Shaitan will overhear it and make it so that
you will never have a lot of money.
- Such a jerk!! - Ok, I get it.
- Dreamkiller.
If he gets the jug, I'll become his slave. Forever.
And if he finds all the other 12 genies,
he will become omnipotent.
And then... well, the biggest worldwide bummer.
- A weird car you have. How long have you had it?
- Not long. Since today.
I was going to meet the girl.
I made this car for her.
Wanted her to like me.
I thought we'd go for a ride,
drink beer...
I thought it would be fun.
But this girl turned out
to be such a bitch
that I don't even want to talk about her.
Maybe she isn't that bad.
Maybe she grew up.
Got a job in a big company.
Everything changed.
It's her job now.
- So? Tell me your third wish now.
- Now?
Yes, now. Before Shaitanych finds me.
I want... eternal life!
For everyone!
For everyone? How nice.
And, as a result, overpopulation, hunger, wars.
- Well then...
- Don't think about others. Wish for yourself.
- For myself?
- Yes, for yourself.
I want you to stay.
Well, if you have to go... I want...
Make me a beer.
That's it? Isn't that enough for you?
That's it... Take care.
Maybe you'll visit me some time.
At least write me letters.
Yes, I knew everything was different in Russia.
But I didn't think it would be SO different.
If you lived here longer,
you'd see better stuff.
Khottabyches... Garyniches (dragon)...
and Baba Yaga (witch) are everywhere.
Baba Yaga? Who's that?
Did you have sex with her?
Surround them! Don't move!
Hands where I can see them!
Behind your back!
Keep the head down!
Put them in our car!
- Wait! I can explain everything to you!
- So you can speak Russian, too.
Wait, I know for sure it isn't him!
- Well, but we know for sure it's him.
- Bitch!
- We discovered that by chance.
- There are really weird stripes on it.
Yes, Mr. inspector, we made inquiries:
It is papyrus!
- What? What papyrus?
- Real papyrus.
Was used in Ancient Egypt, instead of paper.
- What an idiot prints bucks on papyrus?
All right. Any distinctive features?
Please, get out of the car.
Dear Genadiy, We want to thank you for your
bravery and high professionalism,
which you have demonstrated by hacking
the damn Microsoft server.
Hey, are you recruiting me?
This belongs to you. Do whatever you want,
hack whatever you want.
We realized we were wrong.
We will never disturb you again.
And we'll simply forget
what happened today.
Long live Genadiy Vitalyevitch!
Long live Genadii Vitalyevitch,
also known as MaZaHaKa.
They don't sing all that bad, do they?
Khottabych!
You're back!
- I came back because I forgot my hat.
- What hat? You didn't have any hat.
- Did or didn't..Does it matter?
Leave me alone with your hats!
First I wanted to fly a dragon and make him spit
fire on those warriors.
But then I thought,
why all this stupid show.
But what about the genies land?
- Genies land... There is no such land!
- How come?
Easy. It's just a fairy tale, for
little children. I invented it myself.
The genies land, where you can be
free and don't have to fulfill wishes.
But such a country doesn't exist.
- Where did you go then?
Nowhere. Far away
from the human world.
And how can you stay here?
What if Shaitan finds you?
- And what does a normal human serve him for?
- But you are no human, you are a genie.
Yes, genie. And there is a way
to solve this problem.
But for that I have to be alone.
Normal stories end here.
A wizard
Хоттабыч Хоттабыч

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Читайте также:
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- текст Дон жуан Де Марко на английском
- текст Бежим без оглядки на английском
- текст Выжившие на английском
- текст Чернокнижник: Армагеддон на английском

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