- What the hell is it?
I wasn't trying anything!
Honest!
Step on him!
Up, up and away!
Are you ready
for an incredible story?
- Waste it, man, waste it!
- No!
Talk about a rotten day?
- Just saw your show.
- Great, thanks.
- Beverly, we love your music.
- Goodbye now.
Could I have your
autograph on my shirt?
Me too.
On my shorts?
Real charming.
Just go away, okay?
We're talking to you,
big Rock Star!
- Don't do anything!
- Don't go snot nose on us.
- We're your biggest fans.
- Let me go!
Help somebody, help!
Help!
Come here, snot nose!
That's it.
No more Mister Nice Duck!
Let the female creature go.
Every duck's got his limit, and you
scum have pushed me over the line.
Jimmy,
do you like see what I see?
- A talking duck?
- Yeah. That's it.
I've been doing too much toot.
Fly away!
No one laughs at
a master of Quack-Foo!
Jimmy, you okay?
Get off me!
You, creep, get out of here!
You're breaking my fingers!
Now, you and baby face
are gonna beat it, right, Mr. Zitz?
Before I get really mad!
Come on!
Let's get out of here!
This is obviously no place for
an intelligent, sensitive duck.
This is unreal.
I mean, it can't be.
- Thanks.
- You're not really a duck?
You know, this is beginning to
seriously undermine my self-esteem.
I'm sorry, I guess I should thank
you for chasing those guys off.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, sure. Terrific.
I just have one giant question.
Where am I?
The lights up there
are Ninth Street and...
the bus stops
at the corner of Powell.
No, no, no, no.
I'm asking, what is this place?
- Cleveland?
- Cleveland?
That's a perfect weird name
for this planet.
Planet?
No, no, that's a city.
The planet's
You don't know the planet?
The planet's called Earth,
I think.
And I'm obviously in some
sort of terrible nightmare.
Yeah?
Your nightmare or mine?
Good point.
So, I guess
I better be going.
Thanks again.
Bye.
Bye.
Listen?
You got someplace to go?
If I had someplace to go,
I certainly wouldn't be in Cleveland.
Come on.
Nice place.
Do you pay to live here?
It's cheap. The manager
of my band found it for me.
I suggest you find
a new manager.
I'd love to, but we got this damn
contract with this sleazoid.
He won't even give us
the money he owes us.
Come on in.
It's sort of a disaster area.
We've been working on
some new songs, you know.
See, the band's called
Cherry Bomb and, well...
we've been playing these grungy
mong-holes waiting for our big break.
You don't have any idea what
I'm talking about, do you Mister...
- Hello.
- Duck?
- It's Howard, thank you.
- Right, Howard.
Hi, I'm Beverly.
Listen, would you like
something to eat or drink?
Milk?
I could put it in a bowl.
Doll, I don't drink out of bowls.
You got a beer?
Beer?
Right, beer, right.
God, I can't believe this.
- I'll put you in a bowl.
- What?
Give me a break.
- What's this?
- It's a purse.
- I got it at a swap meet.
- Cute.
I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just
that I've never been around a...
I mean, I've never even had
any pets or anything, you know?
They seem like such a hassle.
You know, feeding them...
- cleaning up their little poo-poos.
- I'll try to be careful.
No, I didn't mean that you...
Look, why don't
you just sit down...
- Okay, why not?
- And make yourself at home.
- Make myself at home? I wish.
- Listen.
No, not again!
Howard, it's okay.
Are you all right?
- The chair started shaking.
- It was just a big truck going by.
A truck?
I knew that.
What I don't know is
what the hell I'm doing here!
It's like a bad trip. I mean,
talk about an identity crisis.
Yeah, what an awful
thing to happen.
Howard, I was
just kinda wondering...
does everybody
in your planet look like you?
- Obviously, why?
- No reason, just wondered.
So, what do you do back home?
You got a job? You go to school?
- I went to med school for a while.
- You went to med school?
Yeah, my parents
wanted me to be a