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What's wrong
with me, man?
You're too negative, man.
Negative? What's negative about,
"Will you go out
with me?"
The way you say something is just
as important as "what" you say.
Now, this is where
the tranquilizer gun...
And darts...
come into play.
You gotta control the situation.
You can't say,
"Uh, will you go out with me?
Huh? Please?"
Like you've never
gone out in your life.
You just look 'em
in the eye and you say,
"What time should
I pick ya up?"
...insert a dart...
When we go to Paris,
you gotta let those Frenchwomen know
that you've got your act together.
Always point the gun away from the
head and towards the lower flank.
Go ahead. Make my day.
I don't know, Manolo,
I think it's hopeless.
I'm never gonna
get laid!
Although that thought
may be of great comfort...
to the women of the world,
Mr. Moore,
as a future veterinarian,
you should know that...
every dog eventually
has his day.
I mean, you just walk up to her and say,
"I would kill or die to make love to you"?
No. Geez, no. You gotta
have eye contact first.
You look, she looks,
then you say it.
Don't say it
like it's dirty.
Say it
from the heart.
Then it ain't dirty,
it's passion.
You goin' back
to the apartment?
Nah, I gotta go
to my folks' house.
Your dad still givin' you a
hard time about goin' to Europe?
You kidding?
He "loves" the idea.
- It's out of the question.
- Why?
We've been through this
a hundred times.!
Europe costs a fortune.
Dad, I'm getting a special
deal through school.
Jonathan. Oh, thanks, Rosario.
You're welcome,
Look, it's part of my education. You
want me to get an eduction, don't you?
When school's in session,
you get an education.
When it's not in session,
you get a job!
- Mom...
- Don't say "Mom. "
Al... Don't say "Al. " He
says "Mom," you say "Al,"
and the whole thing
comes out of my pocket.
You're gonna learn a hell of a lot
more workin' in the real world...
than you will chasin' skirts
around Pomona.
"Pamplona, Pomona"...
I don't care if it's Cleveland. You're
not goin'. It's out of the question!
Why does it have to be
either/or with you two?
You want to go to Europe,
you want him to go to work.
- Why can't you do both?
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Fine? It's not fine. Why is it fine?
Because it is.
It'll give him a chance to
pull up his grades next quarter.
And just think. A week in "Paree" and
he'll come back sounding just like, um...
Marcel Marceau.
Fantastic. Dad, can
I borrow your camera?
It's not a camera, it's a Nikon.
And it's out of the question.
- Mom?
- Al.
Everybody is
speaking French.
It's like a second
language to these people.
E- Excuse me.
You are American "boys-eh"?
Yeah. You want a taxi to Paris?
No, thank you. It's
too expensive. No, no.
We're gonna take the, uh,
bus here. No, no, no, no.
I make special price for you
because you are American "boys-eh. "
It's cheaper, faster,
and much, much safer, hmm?
Come with me.
Shall we go? Why not?
It's cheaper and faster...
And much, much safer!
- Jesus.
- "You boys are in a hurry?"
Hurry? No, it's okay,
you can take your time.
- " Oh, man"...
- " Bastard.!" Get out of my way.!
Where'd you learn how to drive?
East L.A.?
Safer, huh? Man, let me out of here.
How much do we owe you?
- Uh, 400 francs.
Four... Wh... I'm sorry,
but the-the meter says 200.
Oh, yes. Two hundred for you, and two
hundred for him. That's four hundred.
Thank you.
Wh-What's that for?
Uh, "le service. " The tip.
Merci, au revoir. Service the tip?
You can't want a tip
for that ride!
I think we just
got ripped off, amigo.
It's because
we're American "boys-eh. "
This is the Champs-Elysee, man.
Biggest shopping street in the world.
The Arc de Triomphe's
up there. This is Paris.
Look at those Eiffel Towers.
We're talkin' "eyeful"here.
! !


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