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doing anything
Saturday night.
Uh, no,
I don't think so.
Well, would you like
to go out with me?
No.
But you just said
you weren't doing anything.
Mm-hmm.
You mean
you'd rather do nothing
than go out with me?
Yeah.
Jonathan, wait up!
Hey, Manolo.
You didn't wash the dishes
this morning, again.
I didn't?
We're supposed to share
housework, remember?
Jesus, Manolo,
are you my roommate
or my mother?

Hi, Manolo.
Who was that?
I don't know.
You don't know?
I almost got nailed
this morning.
By who?
Reilly.
Reilly?
Reilly's a puss.
He ambushed me
outside of Haines Hall.
I didn't even have my gun.
So what did you do?
Hid in a bush, and
he walked right by me.
You're a regular
James Bond, man.
Yeah, exceptJames Bond
had Pussy Galore.
I can't even get a date.
"Ordinarily, we don't"... "we don't"
get this type of specimen
in an undergraduate class,
but I wanted to give you
something to remember
over Spring Break.
Now, when we have
a sick cat like Tony here,
He's gotta be
tranquilized...
in order
to do the examination.
Now, the name
of the tranquilizer
solution is...

Sernylan,
which I understand
is very popular at your parties.
That's why we keep it
locked up here.
She told me...
she would rather sit
at home and do nothing
than go out with me.

What's wrong
with me, man?
You're too negative, man.
Negative?
What's negative about,
"Will you go out
with me?"
The way you say something
is just as important
as "what" you say.
Now, this is where
the tranquilizer gun...

And darts...
come into play.

You gotta control the situation.
You can't say,
"Uh, will you go out with me?
Huh? Please?"
Like you've never
gone out in your life.
You just look 'em
in the eye and you say,
"What time should
I pick ya up?"
...insert a dart...

When we go to Paris,
you gotta let
those Frenchwomen know that
you've got your act together.
Always point the gun
away from the head
and towards the lower flank.
Go ahead. Make my day.

I don't know, Manolo,
I think it's hopeless.
I'm never gonna
get laid!
Although that thought
may be of great comfort...
to the women of the world,
Mr. Moore,
as a future veterinarian,
you should know that...
every dog eventually
has his day.
I mean, you just walk up to her
and say, "I would kill or die
to make love to you"?
No. Geez, no.
You gotta have
eye contact first.
You look, she looks,
then you say it.
Don't say it
like it's dirty.
Say it
from the heart.
Then it ain't dirty,
it's passion.
You goin' back
to the apartment?
Nah, I gotta go
to my folks' house.
Your dad still givin'
you a hard time
about goin' to Europe?
You kidding?
He "loves" the idea.
- It's out of the question.
- Why?
We've been through this
a hundred times.!
Europe costs a fortune.
Dad, I'm getting
a special deal
through school.
Jonathan.
Oh, thanks,
Rosario.
You're welcome,
Jonathan.
Look, it's part of
my education. You want me
to get an eduction, don't you?
When school's in session,
you get an education.
When it's not in session,
you get a job!
- Mom...
- Don't say "Mom."
Al...
Don't say "Al."
He says "Mom," you say "Al,"
and the whole thing
comes out of my pocket.
You're gonna learn
a hell of a lot more
workin' in the real world...
than you will chasin' skirts
around Pomona.
Pamplona.
"Pamplona, Pomona"...
I don't care if it's Cleveland.
You're not goin'.
It's out of the question!
Why does it have to be
either/or with you two?
You want to go to Europe,
you want him to go to work.
- Why can't you do both?
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Fine? It's not fine.
Why is it fine?
Because it is.
It'll give him a chance
to pull up his grades
next quarter.
And just think. A week
in "Paree" and he'll come back
sounding just like, um...
Marcel Marceau.
Fantastic.
Dad, can I borrow
your camera?
It's not a
! !

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