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You're gonna learn
a hell of a lot more
workin' in the real world...
than you will chasin' skirts
around Pomona.
"Pamplona, Pomona"...
I don't care if it's Cleveland.
You're not goin'.
It's out of the question!
Why does it have to be
either/or with you two?
You want to go to Europe,
you want him to go to work.
- Why can't you do both?
- Fine.
- Fine.
- Fine? It's not fine.
Why is it fine?
Because it is.
It'll give him a chance
to pull up his grades
next quarter.
And just think. A week
in "Paree" and he'll come back
sounding just like, um...
Marcel Marceau.
Dad, can I borrow
your camera?
It's not a camera, it's a Nikon.
And it's out of the question.
- Mom?
- Al.

Everybody is
speaking French.
It's like
a second language
to these people.
E-Excuse me.
You are American "boys-eh"?
You want a taxi
to Paris?
No, thank you.
It's too expensive.
No, no.
We're gonna take
the, uh, bus here.
No, no, no, no.
I make special price for you
because you are American "boys-eh."
It's cheaper, faster,
and much, much safer, hmm?
Come with me.
Shall we go?
Why not?
It's cheaper and faster...
And much, much safer!

- Jesus.
- "You boys are in a hurry?"

Hurry? No, it's okay,
you can take your time.
- " Oh, man"...
- " Bastard.!"
Get out of my way.!

Where'd you learn how to drive?
East L.A.?
 Safer, huh?
Man, let me
out of here.
- ""
How much do we owe you?
- Uh, 400 francs.
Four... Wh...
I'm sorry, but
the-the meter says 200.
Oh, yes. Two hundred for you,
and two hundred for him.
That's four hundred.
Thank you.
Wh-What's that for?
Uh, "le service." The tip.
Merci, au revoir.
Service the tip?
You can't want a tip
for that ride!
I think we just
got ripped off, amigo.
It's because
we're American "boys-eh."
 This is
the Champs-Elysee, man. Biggest
shopping street in the world.
The Arc de Triomphe's
up there. This is Paris.

Look at those Eiffel Towers.
We're talkin' "eyeful"here.
 What you doin'?
Excuse me, madam,
I'd like to talk to you.
I want you
to meet my friend.
His name is Jonathan.
Jonathan, this is madam.
Voulez-vous couchez
avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous couchez
avec moi ce soir?
Oh, you asshole.
She likes you.
What'd she do that for?
I just asked her out for dinner.
No, no, no. You asked her
if she would like to go
to bed with you tonight.
- I did?
- "I thought you took French."
I did take French.
I mean, I can say,
"This is my pencil,
my pencil is big,"
that kind of stuff.
Under the right circumstances,
that could be useful.
We gotta find those
circumstances, Manolo.
Thank you.
This is all in French, man.
I can't understand this.
Ah, wait a minute,
wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Can you
understand that?
Manolo, look at this place.
It's incredible!
It says here there are
over 208,000 works of art.
And that's like Roman,
Ancient Greek,
the Mona Lisa.
- "Venus de Milo's here."
- Yeah, you mean the chick
with no arms?
Yeah, that's the one.
I mean, this is the palace
where the French kings
lived before Versailles.
And then Napoleon turned
it into the biggest museum
in the world.
What is your name?
I am Carlos, from Algeria.
Have you heard of me?
Isn't there a terrorist
named Carlos?
I need your help.
I need you to walk
with me to my hotel.
I cannot walk
the streets of Paris alone.
Will you help me?
I don't know...
Say no more.
I shall return.
What's goin' on?
I'm in!
You're in.
Her name is Heidi.
She's Swedish. We're goin'
back to the hotel.
Manolo, how'd you
do that so quickly?
Told her my name
was Carlos, man, and
I just got back from Algeria.
She thinks I'm a terrorist.
Swedish chicks
go crazy for that shit.
So, give me two hours
before you head back
to the
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