pocket. You're gonna learn a hell of a lot more workin' in the real world... than you will chasin' skirts around Pomona. Pamplona. "Pamplona, Pomona"... I don't care if it's Cleveland. You're not goin'. It's out of the question! Why does it have to be either/or with you two? You want to go to Europe, you want him to go to work. - Why can't you do both? - Fine. - Fine. - Fine? It's not fine. Why is it fine? Because it is. It'll give him a chance to pull up his grades next quarter. And just think. A week in "Paree" and he'll come back sounding just like, um... Marcel Marceau. Fantastic. Dad, can I borrow your camera? It's not a camera, it's a Nikon. And it's out of the question. - Mom? - Al. Everybody is speaking French. It's like a second language to these people. E-Excuse me. You are American "boys-eh"? Yeah. You want a taxi to Paris? No, thank you. It's too expensive. No, no. We're gonna take the, uh, bus here. No, no, no, no. I make special price for you because you are American "boys-eh." It's cheaper, faster, and much, much safer, hmm? Come with me. Shall we go? Why not? It's cheaper and faster... And much, much safer! - Jesus. - "You boys are in a hurry?" Hurry? No, it's okay, you can take your time. - " Oh, man"... - " Bastard.!" Get out of my way.! Where'd you learn how to drive? East L.A.? Safer, huh? Man, let me out of here. - "" How much do we owe you? - Uh, 400 francs. Four... Wh... I'm sorry, but the-the meter says 200. Oh, yes. Two hundred for you, and two hundred for him. That's four hundred. Thank you. Wh-What's that for? Uh, "le service." The tip. Merci, au revoir. Service the tip? You can't want a tip for that ride! I think we just got ripped off, amigo. It's because we're American "boys-eh." This is the Champs-Elysee, man. Biggest shopping street in the world. The Arc de Triomphe's up there. This is Paris. Look at those Eiffel Towers. We're talkin' "eyeful"here. What you doin'? Excuse me, madam, I'd like to talk to you. I want you to meet my friend. His name is Jonathan. Jonathan, this is madam. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir? Quoi? Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir? Oh, you asshole. She likes you. What'd she do that for? I just asked her out for dinner. No, no, no. You asked her if she would like to go to bed with you tonight. - I did? - "I thought you took French." I did take French. I mean, I can say, "This is my pencil, my pencil is big," that kind of stuff. Under the right circumstances, that could be useful. Yeah? Yeah. We gotta find those circumstances, Manolo. Thank you. This is all in French, man. I can't understand this. Ah, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Can you understand that? Oui. Manolo, look at this place. It's incredible! It says here there are over 208,000 works of art. And that's like Roman, Ancient Greek, the Mona Lisa. - "Venus de Milo's here." - Yeah, you mean the chick with no arms? Yeah, that's the one. I mean, this is the palace where the French kings lived before Versailles. And then Napoleon turned it into the biggest museum in the world. What is your name? Heidi. I am Carlos, from Algeria. Have you heard of me? Isn't there a terrorist named Carlos? Shh! I need your help. I need you to walk with me to my hotel. I cannot walk the streets of Paris alone. Will you help me? I don't know... Shh! Say no more. I shall return. What's goin' on? I'm in! You're in. Her name is Heidi. Heidi? She's Swedish. We're goin' back to the hotel. Manolo, how'd you do that so quickly? Told her my name was Carlos, man, and I just got back from Algeria. She thinks I'm a terrorist. Swedish chicks go crazy for that shit. So, give me two hours before you head back to the
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