girl, Jenny.
- Yeah?
- Back at school.
And we sort of broke up
and everything.
But see, I'm gonna...
- But I think I'm gonna-
- Randy?
It's okay.
I think I can handle it.
Thanks, Alex.
What's this?
That's the Randy Bodek
Scholarship Fund.
Oh, no. Alex.
- I can't.
- Why not?
Because it makes me feel...
Randy.
If I was the one who needed money...
...and you had it to give...
- ...would you give it to me?
- Yes.
Of course you would.
So, what's the difference?
I'm never gonna see you again,
am I?
Be on the lookout for extra anchovies.
Randy?
Joe.
Jumping to conclusions,
am I, Diane?
How dare you sneak home
in the middle of the day...
- ...to invade your son's privacy.
- His privacy?
- His sex life is his own business-
- Come on, Diane.
Our son is dressing up
in ladies' underwear.
- He needs professional help.
- No, he needs...
...sympathetic parents who say
they love him.
Let's see your sympathy when
he borrows makeup.
- Oh, Joe.
- "Oh, Joe."
Oh, God.
Okay. Take the moon.
It's a chunk of rock.
Why does it spin around the Earth?
Why doesn't it just bolt off into space?
Smartest scientists don't understand
a billionth of what's going on.
Why should I feel stupid
because I don't understand women?
You get all that from
a cold pizza, man?
- You're in worse shape than I thought.
- I'm serious. So I've saved 270 bucks?
I'm never gonna get Jenny back.
- See, I don't know what to do.
- I do. Move your butt.
Says "extra anchovies."
Who called it in?
- What do you mean, who? Some lady.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Hold it.
- What?
Where's your mustache?
I want mustaches worn.
- Sal said I didn't have to wear it.
- Sal.
Mustaches, mustaches.
You're bumming me out, man.
Seсor Pizza.
Alex?
- Hello.
- Hi.
I'm a friend of Alexandra.
It's okay.
What?
Oh, no.
I- No.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's nothing personal.
- I want to die!
- Now, come on. Don't talk like that.
Look, it's just been one giant mistake.
Yes, my marriage.
Fourteen years of a big mistake.
Hey, come on. It can't be that bad.
I mean, look at this house.
What? It's great.
It's a prison.
Okay, why don't you
sit down here.
You know, I hope everything
works out.
No. No. No!
When I was younger in Japan,
I had many boyfriends.
Many proposals of marriage. But no,
I wanted to marry American.
Be American woman with
American freedom and opportunity.
But my husband, he treats me
like a geisha.
Well, I'm not a geisha!
I'm a computer analyst!
Look, I'm sorry,
but I gotta get going here.
He treats me like his slave.
And now...
...when I finally get the courage
to do something for myself...
...even you, professional,
you refuse me.
- No, see, I'm not a professional.
- I want to die.
Stop it.
- No, no, no, no. Not like that.
- What?
- That's my husband's way.
- I'm sorry, I thought that-
I have a fantasy.
Take me.
Take me.
- Take me!
- Yes, okay.
Okay. It's all right.
Yes, ma'am. Absolutely.
And thank you very much.
Hey, Bodek, you are really quite
the popular guy, aren't you?
Look at this. Look at this.
You got a bunch of deliveries here.
Hey, Juan! Break me out one of those
big cans of anchovies, will you?
Oh, my goodness.
- What the hell is going on?
- That last delivery wasn't Alex.
I figured so. You got five more calls,
all women, all extra anchovies.
Four of them scheduled deliveries
for later this week!
I just couldn't say no.
Alex? She just insisted.
And then Kyoko.
Kyoko, it was like...
...I was defending the American way.
It's taking me a second to get this.
Beautiful women actually pay you
$200 apiece to sleep with them?
Yeah! I didn't want
to take their money.
They were nice people.
They wouldn't take no for an answer.
Okay, well, what about the others?
Call them back and say
there are no more anchovies.
I can't! They didn't leave names
or numbers, only addresses.
Three of them are motels
in the Valley.
I cannot believe Alex