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don't hear me,
but can't you just listen?
Louis, what are you doing
in the house when Jon's home?
Sorry, Garfield, man.
I couldn't help it.
Look, when he sees you, he expects
more from me. Don't you get that?
Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies.
I'm trying to maintain.
- You understand?
- Sure. As long as you understand I have to eat you.
[Garfield Swallows]
Mm. Mmm.
- Mm! Mmm!
- Oh, good boy.
See, I knew you could do it
if you put your mind to it.
- You are the best cat a guy could have.
- Mmm.
Mm.! Mm.!
Have you tasted
yourself lately?
Hey, it wasn't exactly the first-class lounge
in there for me either.
Get yourself lost. Take a powder for a couple days,
get a haircut and grow a beard.
I owe you one, "G."
I got a question for you.
Do you love your cat?
Finally, back on
my regular schedule.
You're gonna make sure
he has nothing but Kibbly Kat food.
Isn't that right,
That cat's puss is everywhere...
TV, newspapers, T-shirts.
Who would want
that kind of exposure?
[Door Opens]
- Hey, buddy.
- Yeah, cut the small talk. What's in the bag?
Remember, be happy.
I'm happy when I'm with you,
you delicate mlange...
of tomato paste, ricotta cheese,
ground meat and pasta!
Garfield, don't even
think about it.
That's my food.
I may just nibble.
Thanks, Happy.
And thank you for joining us.
I'm Christopher Mello.
Be happy.
- [Bell Rings]
- Okay, cut. Good.
- [Sneezing]
- [Man] We're clear.
Give me the Benadryl.
Give me the Benadryl.
Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah! Yeah.
Damned cat allergies.
Any word
from the network yet?
Uh, no, but they're looking for a dog act
on Good Day, New York.
Dog act!
Story of my life.
Looking for a dog,
and I'm stuck with a cat.
I thought the segment
went quite well.
[Whiny Voice]
"I thought the segment went quite well."
Of course it went well,
you toad!
The 50 housewives
who saw it, loved it.
This is WalterJ. Chapman
reporting live from The Hague.
Oh, please,
what a know-it-all!
...were met with angry crowds...
And everybody always said
I was the handsome one.
I was the smart one.
And I was born first.
But there you are
"live from The Hague"...
and here I am working with this sack of dander
on a dead-end regional morning show.
Back to you, Dan.
Back to you, Dan.
- [Moaning]
- Did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?
It's not my fault. They started it.
What am I gonna do
with you?
Love me. Feed me.
Never leave me.
Come on. Let's go for a ride
to someplace you love...
that always leaves you
feeling pampered and refreshed.
Huh? Oh, I know...
Chuck E. Cheese.
Thank you.
No? Wendy's?
Taco Kitty? No?
Well, I'm stumped.
Maybe Olive Garden for you?
Hmm. The only time I ever leave my cul-de-sac
is when Jon takes me to the vet...
which he's been doing a lot recently,
and it appears to have nothing to do with me.
Jon must want to go
for his own reason.
Well, there's nothing wrong
with Garfield.
He's just a happy,
fat, lazy cat.
No need for
a second opinion.
- Well, I worry about him.
- I know you do.
You know, you care about him more than
any owner I've ever known.
"Him" has a name.
Is this an H.M.O.?
Let's get Garfield in for his dip.
I wanna talk to you in private.
- Mm. Oh!
- She's so beautiful.
Uh, Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush
on her since high school.
Would you please ask her out so she can
reject you, and we can get on with my life?
- I have to ask her out.
- [Groans]
- Wish me luck.
- Okay, go get 'em, big tiger.
You the man. You the fella.
You the boss.
You preach to her. Show her how
the cow eats the cabbage...
you hopeless loser.
Betty, today, why don't you start me off
with a Swedish massage...
a manicure
and a pedicure, okay?
Seaweed wrap, loofah...
belly rub, uh...
tail waxing and then
crack my toes to finish.

- -

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