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on over.
I feel like complete shit, Ferris.
I can't go anywhere.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Now come on over here and pick me up.
I'm dying.
[Phone ringing]
[Button clicking]
You're not dying. You just
can't think of anything good to do.
[Button clicking]
If anybody needs a day off,
it's Cameron.
He has a lot of things to sort out
before he graduates.
He can't be wound up this tight
and go to college.
His roommate will kill him.
[Singing] When Cameron
was in Egypt's land
Let my Cameron go
Pardon my French,
but Cameron is so tight...
that if you stuck
a lump of coal up his ass...
in two weeks you'd have a diamond.
Katie Bueller.
This is Edward R. Rooney,
Dean of Students.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I just completely forgot to call.
Then you are aware that your son
is not in school today?
Yes, I am. Ferris is home, sick.
Now, I had a meeting
first thing this morning.
I know I should have called,
it just completely slipped my mind.
I'm really very sorry.
Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that...
Ferris does not have
what we consider to be...
an exemplary attendance record?
I don't understand.
He has missed an unacceptable number
of school days.
In the opinion of this educator...
Ferris is not taking
his academic growth seriously.
Now, I've spent my morning
examining his records.
If Ferris thinks that
he can just coast through this month...
and still graduate,
he is sorely mistaken.
I have no reservation, whatsoever...
about holding him back another year.
- This is all news to me.
- Usually is.
So far this semester
he has been absent nine times.
- Nine times?
- Nine times.
I don't remember him
being sick nine times.
That's probably because he wasn't sick,
he was skipping school.
Wake up and smell the coffee,
Mrs. Bueller.
It's a fool's paradise.
He is just leading you
down the primrose path.
I can't believe it.
I've got it right here in front of me.
He has missed nine days.
[Computer beeping]
I asked for a car, I got a computer.
How's that
for being born under a bad sign?
Grace?
Grace!
Look, I can give you every assurance,
Mr. Rooney, that Ferris is home...
and he is very ill.
In fact, I debated whether or not
I should even leave him.
Grace!
I can appreciate how this time of year
children are prone to taking the day off.
However, in Ferris' case, I can
assure you, he is truly a very sick boy.
[Playing off-key]
Never had one lesson.
In 1930...
the Republican-controlled
House of Representatives...
in an effort
to alleviate the effects of the...
Anyone? Anyone?
The Great Depression...
passed the... Anyone? Anyone?
The tariff bill,
the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act which...
Anyone? Raised or lowered?
Raised tariffs...
in an effort to collect more revenue
for the federal government.
Did it work? Anyone?
Anyone know the effects?
It did not work and the United States
sank deeper into the Great Depression.
Today, we have
a similar debate over this.
Anyone know what this is?
Class? Anyone?
Anyone?
Anyone seen this before?
The Laffer Curve.
Anyone know what this says?
It says, that at this point
on the revenue curve...
[Chalk screeching on board]
you will get exactly
the same amount of revenue...
as at this point.
This is very controversial.
Does anyone know what Vice President
Bush called this in 1980?
Anyone?
Something "d-o-o" economics.
Voodoo economics.
[I Dream of Jeannie playing]
Jeanie.
I'm really sorry about your brother.
What are you sorry for?
I have to live with the trouser snake.
No, I mean, I heard he's really sick.
Whoa. Whoa. Who said he's sick?
A whole bunch of people. They said
he's like on the verge of death.
This guy in my biology class...
said that if Ferris dies,
he's giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder.
He's such a sweetie. Got to go.
- Hi, Jeanie.
- Shut up.
Please, do not yank my cord on this.
How desperate is the situation?
Well, did you see Alien?
When that creature
was in that guy

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