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You don't wanna
talk about your problem?
- With you? Are you serious?
- I'm serious.
Blow yourself.
All right,
you wanna know what's wrong?
I know what's wrong.
I just wanna hear you say it.
In a nutshell, I hate my brother.
- How's that?
- That's cool.
Did you blow him away or something?
No, not yet.
See, I went home
to confirm that the shithead
was ditching school
and when I was there,
a guy broke into the house.
I called the cops and they picked me up
for making a phony phone call.
What do you care
if your brother ditches school?
Why should he get to ditch,
when everybody else has to go?
- You could ditch.
- Yeah, I'd get caught.
I see.
So you're pissed off 'cause he ditches
and doesn't get caught, is that it?
- Basically.
- Basically.
Then your problem is you.
- Excuse me?
- Excuse you.
You ought to spend a little more time
dealing with yourself
a little less time worrying about
what your brother does.
That's just an opinion.
- What are you, a psychiatrist?
- No.
Then why don't you keep
your opinions to yourself?
There's somebody you should talk to.
If you say "Ferris Bueller,"
you lose a testicle.
Oh, you know him?
You know, that whole time
I was just thinking things over.
I was, like... I was, like, meditating.
Then I sort of watched myself
from inside.
I realized it was ridiculous
being afraid, worrying about everything,
wishing I was dead. All that shit.
I'm tired of it.
It's the best day of my life.
I'm gonna miss you guys next year.
Cameron? Can I ask you a question?
Did you see me change out
of my clothes by the Jacuzzi?
Did you?
You saw me?
I thought you were catatonic.
That's okay.
I'm not embarrassed.
I better check on the car.
Hey, Ferris!
The miles aren't coming off.
The miles aren't coming off
going in reverse.
Well, I thought that might be a problem.
Just have to crack open the odometer,
roll it back by hand.
No. Forget it.
Forget it.
I gotta take a stand.
I'm bullshit.
I put up with everything.
My old man pushes me around.
I never say anything!
Well, he's not the problem.
I'm the problem.
I gotta take a stand.
I gotta take a stand against him.
I am not gonna sit on my ass
as the events that affect me unfold
to determine the course of my life.
I'm gonna take a stand.
I'm gonna defend it.
Right or wrong, I'm gonna defend it.
I'm so sick of his shit!
I can't stand him,
and I hate this goddamn car.
Who do you love? Who do you love?
You love a car.
You son of a bitch.
I dented the shit out of it.
My father will come home,
he'll see what I did. I can't hide this.
He'll come home, he'll see what I did.
He'll have to deal with me.
I don't care, I really don't.
I'm just tired of being afraid.
Hell with him.
I can't wait to see the look
on the bastard's face.
What'd I do?
- What'd I do?
- You killed the car.
Holy shit.
Cameron, it's my fault.
I'll take the heat for it.
We'll wait for your father to come home
and when he gets here,
I'll tell him that I did it.
He hates me anyway.
No. I'll take it.
No, I'll take it.
No. No, you don't want this much heat.
I want it. If I didn't want it,
I wouldn't have let you
take the car out this morning.
I made you take the car this morning.
I could've stopped you.
It is possible to stop
Mr. Ferris Bueller, you know?
No, I want it. I'm gonna take it. That's it.
When Morris comes home,
he and I'll just have a little chat.
It's cool.
No, it's gonna be good.
Thanks anyway.
This is a shock to me.
I mean, first of all, I don't know
why she wasn't in school.
And second of all, I just can't believe
she came to you
with this story about an intruder.
Well, for whatever reason she did it,
I think she's had a pretty good scare.
Well, I really appreciate your calling me.
I can assure you that her father
and I are going
to have a long talk
with her when we get home.
Thank you so much.
Oh, by the way,

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