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uncalled for.
- You serious?
- Yeah.
Here you go.
Thank you.
You did screw up, though, right?
I mean, not that it was
completely your fault.
- Why?
- Well,
to fix the situation
I'm gonna have to
ask you for a small favor.
The 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California.
Less than 100 were made.
My father spent
three years restoring this car.
It is his love, it is his passion...
It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.
Ferris, what are you talking about?
Ferris, my father loves this car
more than life itself.
A man with priorities so far out of whack
doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
No. No.
- Apparently you don't understand.
- Wow.
Ferris, he never drives it.
He just rubs it with a diaper.
Hey, remember how insane he went
when I broke my retainer?
Come on, that was a little piece
of plastic, this is a Ferrari.
Cameron, I'm sorry,
but we can't pick up Sloane in your car.
Mr. Rooney would never believe
Mr. Peterson drives that piece of shit.
- It's not a piece of shit.
- It is a piece of shit.
Don't worry about it, I don't even have
a piece of shit, I have to envy yours.
Thanks.
Look, I'm sorry,
there's nothing else we can do.
- He knows the mileage, Ferris.
- He doesn't trust you?
- Never has, never will.
- Look, this is real simple.
Whatever miles we put on,
we'll take off.
- How?
- We'll drive home backwards.
No. No!
Ferris, forget it. You're just gonna
have to think of something else.
I'm putting my foot down.
How about we rent a nice Cadillac?
My treat.
We could call a limo!
A nice stretch job with a TV and a bar.
How about that?
Come on, live a little.
Once again, let me tell you how deeply
saddened I am by your loss. I...
I had a grandmother, once.
Two, actually.
Deficits. Who will have to pay that
eventually? Anyone? Anyone know?
"Man that is born of woman
hath but a short time to live
"and is full of misery
"He cometh up
and is cut down like a flow'r
"He flee'th as if it were a shadow
"and never continueth in one stay"
Oh, dear.
Between grief and nothing,
I'll take grief.
Great.
Oh, Sloane, dear.
Hurry along now.
I guess that's my dad.
- Yeah.
- Gotta go.
Mr. Rooney...
- Ed, you're a beautiful man.
- Thank you.
I wanna thank you
for your warmth and compassion.
Higher "what" rates? Anyone?
Higher marginal rates on your taxes.
Any questions so far?
Shit.
- Hi.
- Do you have a kiss for Daddy?
Are you kidding?
So, that's how it is in their family.
- Hi, Cameron. You comfortable?
- Hi, Sloane. No.
What are we gonna do?
The question isn't:
What are we going to do?
The question is:
What aren't we going to do?
Don't say we're not going
to take the car home.
Please don't say we're not going
to take the car home.
If you had access to a car like this,
would you take it back right away?
Neither would I.
Hey, Ferris, don't go so fast!
- Red line, red line, red line.
- Ferris, get out!
Thank you.
Save Ferris.
God loves you, you're very generous.
Save Ferris, save Ferris.
Save Ferris Bueller. Save Ferris.
- Save Ferris?
- What?
Well, see, we're collecting money
to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney
and they run about $50,000,
so if you could help out...
- Go piss up a flagpole.
- I'm sorry?
- You should be.
- Hey...
Hey! Hey...
What if you need a favor someday
from Ferris Bueller?
Then where will you be, huh?
You heartless wench.
Peterson home on line one.
- And watch your mouth this time.
- Go soak your head.
We can't come to the phone right now.
We've had a death in the family.
Grace,
Ferris Bueller's behind this.
There is no doubt in my mind.
And now he's got Sloane Peterson
involved in this thing.
Her grandmother, too.
You pinhead.
If you need to reach us we'll be
at the following number.
Okay.
I did not achieve this position in life
by having some snot-nosed punk
leave my cheese out in the wind.
You have reached
the Coughlin Brothers Mortuary.
We are deeply sorry we are unable
to come to the

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