Well, it's been a tough morning, and
we've got a lot of family business
to take care of. So
if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane,
I'd appreciate it.
Sure, I'd be happy to.
Yeah, you just produce a corpse, and
I'll release Sloane.
I want to see this
dead grandmother, firsthand.
Ed?
It's all right, Grace.
It's Ferris Bueller, the little twerp.
I'm gonna set the trap
and let him fall right into it.
Ed, I'm sorry, did you say
you wanted to see a body?
Yeah, that's right.
Just roll her old bones on over here,
and I'll dig up your daughter.
- You know, that's school policy.
- Oh?
- Was this your mother?
- No, my wife's mother.
Ed Rooney's office.
Hi, this is Ferris Bueller,
can I speak to Mr. Rooney, please?
Thank you.
Hold.
Tell you what, dip-shit,
you don't like my policies
you can just come on down here, and
smooch my big old white butt.
- Ed.
- Pucker up, buttercup. What?
Ferris Bueller's on line two.
Hey, Mr. Rooney, how you doing?
Listen, I'm sorry to disturb you at work,
but I'm not feeling very well today
and I was wondering if it might be
possible for my sister to bring home
any assignments from my classes
that I might need.
Have a nice day.
Mr. Peterson?
I think I owe you an apology, sir.
- Well, I should say you do.
- I...
I, I, I...
Well, I think you should be sorry,
for Christ's sake.
A family member dies
and you insult me. What the hell
is the matter with you anyway?
Well...
I really don't know, sir.
I mean, I didn't think
I was talking to you.
I thought I was talking
to somebody else.
You know, sir, that I would never
deliberately insult you like that. I...
I can't begin to tell you
how embarrassed I am.
- What?
- Pardon my French,
but you're an asshole.
- What do you want?
- Asshole.
Absolutely right, sir.
You've hit the nail right on the head.
Find out where she is.
This isn't over yet, buster.
Do you read me?
Loud and clear, Mr. Peterson.
Call me "sir," goddamn it!
- Yes, sir, yes, sir.
- That's better.
And you just mind
your p's and q's, buster.
And remember who you're dealing with.
Bueller, Ferris Bueller.
Now, I'm a little scared 'cause
what if he recognizes my voice?
- Impossible. You're doing great.
- Yeah?
She's in... Wait.
Rooney!
Rooney, calm down!
Just a moment.
Ed! Get in here!
Just a little office difficulty, sir.
Rooney, I don't have all day
to bark at you.
So I'm gonna make this
short and sweet.
It's great. Perfect. I love it.
I want my daughter out in front of the
school in 10 minutes by herself.
I don't want anybody... What?
It's too suspicious.
He'll think something's up.
- Cover it.
- You.
- Talk.
- You.
- Talk.
- Come on.
Talk. No.
Rooney! Rooney.
Yes, yes.
Listen here, pay attention.
I changed my mind.
I want you out
in front of the school with her.
I'd like to have a few words with you,
by God.
On second thought,
we don't have time to talk right now.
We'll get together soon
and we'll have lunch.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Wait.
- Where's your brain?
- Why'd you kick me?
- Where's your brain?
- Why'd you kick me?
- Where's your brain?
- I asked you first.
How can we pick up Sloane
if Rooney is there with her?
I said for her to be there alone
and you freaked.
Now, I didn't... I didn't hit you.
I lightly slapped you.
You hit me.
Look, don't ask me
to participate in your stupid crap
if you don't like the way I do it.
You make me get out of bed.
You make me come over here.
You make me make a phony phone call
to Edward Rooney?
The man could squash my nuts
into oblivion, and then,
and then,
you deliberately hurt my feelings.
No, I did not deliberately...
I didn't deliberately hurt your feelings.
- Really?
- Really, no. No, I didn't.
What are you doing?
See you later, pal, I'm going home.
- No, no, come on, don't do that.
- Have a nice life.
Cameron, wait a minute.
Cameron, come back.
I didn't mean to lose my temper.
I'm sorry. It was