cook
Christ
Look what Uncle Ed has for you,
you little fucker
Jesus!
Sleep tight, pooch
I knew it!
Well, where is she?
This is her daughter
Do you know where she is?
Do you know when she'll be back?
Do you know anything?
- Ferris
- Bueller
You're psychotic
You're out of your mind
I can't believe you went
on a goddam parade float!
Okay, wait
"Yeah, this tune
is one of my personal favourites"
- A lot of people saw you
- You are nailed
Who'd believe I was in a parade?
Anybody who would nail me
wouldn't go to a parade
That was so quick
- This looks okay to me, Cameron
- It looks great Let's roll
Here you go Thank you
You're a very generous individual
Come back anytime
- Watch the seat
- Sorry
See you later
We've got to do this again
This is not a phoney call
There is an intruder, -
- male Caucasian,
possibly armed, in my kitchen
My name's Bueller
You hope my brother's feeling better?
I'm in danger!
I am very protective of my body
I do not want it violated or killed
I need help!
Speak any English? Dickhead
Excuse me, if you're still in the
house, I'vejust called the police.
If you have any brains whatsoever,
you'll get out real quick.
I also have my father's gun
and a scorching case of herpes.
Wait, that's my car!
I'll move it
He got my keys
You shithead!
I feel pretty good I feel real good
Those guys at the garage were nice
I was a little worried about them
It turned out good
Hey
- Cameron
- Yeah?
How many miles did you say
this thing had on it when we left?
126 and halfway
between three and four tenths
Why? How many miles are on it now?
Here's where Cameron goes berserk
Cameron, are you okay?
Cut that out
Who is it?
I'm sorry, I can't come to the door
right now. In my weakened condition -
- I could take a spill
down the stairs...
God bless the police
I'm saved Thank you, God
- Thank...
- I heard that you were feeling ill
headache, fever and a chill
I came to help restore your pluck
'cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
This may very well be for real
He might have blown
a microchip or two
He's always been a little keyed up
I just wanted to give him a good day
We're going to graduate soon
We'll have the summer
He'll work and I'll work
We'll see each other at night
and on the weekends
Then he'll go to one school
and I'll go to another
Basically that will be it
Sloane's as big a problem
She has another year of high school
How do I deal with that?
I was serious
when I said I'd marry her I would
Cameron?
Can you hear me?
Cameron, blink if you understand me
Cameron has never been in love
Well, nobody has been in love with him
If things don't change for him, he's
going to marry the first girl he lays
And she's going to treat him like shit,
because she will have given him -
- what he has built up in his mind as
the end all, be all of our existence
She won't respect him
You can't respect somebody who
kisses your ass It just doesn't work
Ferris, we'd better try something else
This isn't working
Are you feeling better, Cameron?
Why don't you come in here?
It's really nice
Cameron, I can flip out real easy, too
It's okay
Sooner or later,
everybody goes to the zoo
Maybe he's really sick
Maybe he isn't just torturing himself
Hey! Hey, Cameron!
Cameron, wake up
Come on, Cameron Wake up!
- What is that?
- Ferris Bueller, you're my hero
- That was pretty impressive, man
- You son of a bitch
It's not funny
Drugs?
Thank you, no I'm straight
I meant, are you in here for drugs?
- Why are you here?
- Drugs
- I don't know why I'm here
- Why don't you go home?
Why don't you
put your thumb up your butt?
You wear too much eye make-up
My sister wears too much
People think she's a whore
- You don't want to talk about it?
- With you? Are you serious?
- I'm serious
- Blow yourself
All right,
you want to know what's wrong?
I know what's wrong
I just want to hear you say it
In a nutshell, I hate my brother
How