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Do you want a lift?
I bet you never smelled
a real school bus before
Gummi bear?
They've been in my pocket
They're real warm and soft
You're still here?
It's over
Go home
GoIt is a beautiful day in Chicago.
Temperatures in the upper 70's.
Right now, 75 at the lakefront,
74 at Midway, 73 at O'Hare.
- What's the matter?.
- It's Ferris. Look at him.
He doesn't have a fever, but his
stomach hurts and he's seeing spots.
- What's the matter, Ferris?
- Papa?
Feel his hands,
they're cold and clammy.
- I'm fine. I'll get up.
- No!
- I have a test today.
- No.
I must take it. I want to go to a good
college, so I can have a fruitful life.
Honey, you're not
going to school like this.
- What's his problem?
- He doesn't feel well.
Dry that one out,
you can fertilize the lawn.
Jeanie, is that you?
I can't see that far. Jeanie?
Jeanie, I ...
- Bite the big one, junior.
- Jeanie, you get to school.
If I was bleeding out my eyes, you'd
make me go to school. It's so unfair.
Jeanie, don't be upset with me.
You have your health, be thankful.
That's it! I want out of this family.
I'm okay. I'll just sleep.
I'll have an aspirin around noon.
I'm showing some houses
to that family from Vermont today.
My office will know just where I am
if you need me.
- I'll check on you too, pal.
- I have such loving, caring parents.
You're both very special people.
- You get better, pumpkin.
- Okay, pumpkin.
I'll be home at six sharp.
If you need anything, call.
- We love you, sweetie.
- I love you, too.
Call if you need us.
They bought it.
Incredible! A terrible perFromance,
and they never doubted it for a second.
How could I be expected
to handle school on a day like this?
This is my ninth sick day. It's tough
coming up with new illnesses.
If I go for ten, I'll have to barf up a lung.
So I'd better make this one count.
The key to faking out the parents
is the clammy hands.
It's a good non-specific symptom.
I'm a big believer in it.
A lot of people will tell you
to go for a phoney fever.
But if you get a nervous mother, you
could wind up in a doctor's office.
You fake a stomach cramp.
When you're bent over wailing,
you lick your palms.
It's childish and stupid,
but then, so is high school.
Life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and look around
once in a while, you could miss it.
I do have a test today,
that wasn't bullshit.
It's on European socialism.
What's the point?
I'm not European, so who
gives a crap if they're socialists?
They could be fascist anarchists,
it still wouldn't buy me a car.
I recall Central Park in fall
how you tore your dress
what a mess, I confess ...
It's not that I condone fascism,
or any "ism".
A person should not believe in an
"ism", he should believe in himself.
I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe
in Beatles. I just believe in me."
A good point there.
After all, he was the walrus.
I could be the walrus,
I'd still have to bum rides off people.
- Here.
- Adamowsky, Adamson.
- Adler.
- Here.
- Anderson. Anderson?
- Here.
Bueller. Bueller.
He's sick. My best friend's sister's
boyfriend's brother's girlfriend -
- saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors
last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
- Thank you, Simone.
- No problem whatsoever.
Frye. Frye.
- Hello?
- Cameron, what's happening?
- Very little.
- How do you feel?
- Shredded.
- Is your mother in the room?
She's in Decatur.
Unfortunately she's not staying.
- Where are you?
- I'm taking the day off, come on over.
- I can't, stupid, I'm sick.
- That's all in your head.
- Come on over.
- I feel like shit. I can't go anywhere.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Now come on over and pick me up.
I'm dying.
You're not dying. You just
can't think of anything good to do.
Cameron really needs a day off.
He has a lot of things to sort out
before he goes to college.
When Cameron was in Egypt's

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