when I said
I would marry her.
I would.
Cameron? Cam?
Can you hear me?
Cameron?
Blink if you understand me.
Cameron has never been in love.
At least nobody's ever been
in love with him.
If things don't change for him,
he's going to marry the first girl he lays.
And she's going to treat him like shit...
because she will have given him
what he has built up in his mind...
as the end-all,
be-all of human existence.
She won't respect him.
'Cause you can't respect somebody
who kisses your ass.
Just doesn't work.
Ferris. We better try something else.
This isn't working.
[Instrumental reggae music]
You feeling any better, Cameron?
Cam, why don't you come in here?
It's really nice.
Cameron, I could flip out real easy, too.
It's okay.
Sooner or later
everybody goes to the zoo.
Maybe he's really sick.
Maybe he isn't just torturing himself.
Hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, Cameron.
Cam. Cameron, wake up!
Come on, wake up. Hey, wake up.
Oh, shit, Cameron, come on. Cameron!
Come on, wake up!
Hey.
What is that?
Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.
- You're kidding?
- Wow, that was pretty impressive, man.
You bitch. Oh, you son of a bitch.
Come on.
Tarzan.
Sheena!
Drugs?
Thank you, no. I'm straight.
I meant, are you in here for drugs?
- Why are you here?
- Drugs.
I don't know why I'm here.
Why don't you go home?
Why don't you put
your thumb up your butt?
You wear too much eye make-up.
My sister wears too much.
People think she's a whore.
You don't want to
talk about your problem?
- With you? Are you serious?
- I'm serious.
Blow yourself.
All right,
you want to know what's wrong?
I know what's wrong.
I just want to hear you say it.
In a nutshell, I hate my brother.
- How's that?
- That's cool.
Did you blow him away or something?
No, not yet.
See, I went home
to confirm that the shithead...
was ditching school
and when I was there...
a guy broke into the house.
I called the cops and they picked me up
for making a phoney phone call.
What do you care
if your brother ditches school?
Why should he get to ditch,
when everybody else has to go?
- You could ditch.
- Yeah, I'd get caught.
I see.
So you're pissed off 'cause he ditches
and doesn't get caught, is that it?
- Basically.
- Basically.
Then your problem is you.
- Excuse me?
- Excuse you.
You ought to spend a little more time
dealing with yourself...
a little less time worrying about
what your brother does.
That's just an opinion.
- What are you, a psychiatrist?
- No.
Then why don't you keep
your opinions to yourself?
There's somebody you should talk to.
If you say "Ferris Bueller,"
you lose a testicle.
Oh, you know him?
You know, that whole time
I was just thinking things over.
I was, like... I was, like, meditating.
Then I sort of watched myself
from inside.
I realised it was ridiculous...
being afraid,
worrying about everything...
wishing I was dead. All that shit.
I'm tired of it.
It's the best day of my life.
I'm going to miss you guys next year.
Cameron? Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Did you see me change out
of my clothes by the Jacuzzi?
Did you?
You saw me?
I thought you were catatonic.
That's okay.
I'm not embarrassed.
I better check on the car.
Hey, Ferris!
Yeah?
The miles aren't coming off.
The miles aren't coming off
going in reverse.
Well, I thought that might be a problem.
Just have to crack open the odometer,
roll it back by hand.
No. Forget it.
Forget it.
I got to take a stand.
I'm bullshit.
I put up with everything.
My old man pushes me around.
I never say anything!
Well, he's not the problem.
I'm the problem.
I got to take a stand.
I got to take a stand against him.
I am not going to sit on my ass...
as the events that affect me unfold
to determine the course of my life.
I'm going to take a stand.
I'm going to defend it.
Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.
I'm so sick of his shit!
I can't stand him,
and I hate this goddamn car.
Who do