log.
- Very good.
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away, everyone.
We've been saved.
- Ooh.
- Any other comic relief?.
- Ah!
- There's still homeless out there.
- Hey!
- Yes! What?. You! What?. Yes.
What is the Klingon translation
for, "You're gonna die a virgin"?
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Hilarious, everyone.
Looks like we got more Lucas hounds
here to mock Roddenberry.
Congratulations, gentlemen,
but I would like to see...
your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone.
And we'll see who's laughing then.
Am I right?.
Darth Vader can put the entire
Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.
Uh, Darth Vader has asthma...
so name me one Star Trek character
with a respiratory disease...
'cause I'm drawing a blank.
Name me one
Star Wars characterwho's gay.
- Yeah.
- Besides you.
Well, no one's gay in Star Trek,
so whywould I even do that?.
Captain Picard.
Captain Picard is not gay.
He's British.
- Come on. ""Make it so!"
-   Ah-ah
I hate to break it to you losers,
but Han Solo's a bitch.
Ah, no, he didn't. No, he didn't.
What did you just say?.
- Is there a problem here?.
- Yeah, there sure is, Spock.
The admiral here just
called Han Solo a bitch.
- Good one.
- Some pretty strong words for a Trekkie.
A Trekkie is derogatory
at this point in the game.
Trekker is what we're called now.
Trekker.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Trekkie.
-Just take a look-see here.
What's with the man-purse?.
- Yep. As I thought...
- scanner reads ""douche bag."
- Push me, I'll kill your whole Starfleet.
- Unbelievable!
Snikt! Snitk!
Come on, bub!
Attack, you cowards!
That's an order!
- Hutch!
- Coverme, Windows!
Evasive maneuvers!
Evasive maneuvers!
- My ear!
- Ha-ha!
Nighty-night, Spock-sucker.
Beam this, bitch!
Time-out!
I call time-out! Time-out!
- Disable theirvehicle.
- Get in! Go!
Get in the van!
Get in the van!
Disable the vehicle.
Kill the Star-roids!
Get them!
Han Solo is still a bitch!
- Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch.
Yeah!
Hey, Bottler, hit 'em
with the pressed ham!
Klingon to this.
Kha-a-a-an!
Kha-a-a-an!
Whoo!
I took that Vulcan down hard.
I rolled him into the dirt
like he was my frickin' tauntaun.
Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't forme,
you guys would all be dead.
What fight were you watching?
I was channeling the emperor.
The emperor? I don't remember the emperor
crapping his robe and screaming ""time-out. "
- Oh, my God. That's right.
- There is such a thing as time-out.
I can feel
your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.
All right. Time-out.
We had to take yourvan, Hutch.
I have access to literally
thousands ofvehicles...
but we had to take yourvan.
Yeah, well, I had a spare tire...
but some tardo took it out
to make some room for his grappling hook.
What?. We're on a covert operation.
How can you be on a covert operation
without a grappling hook?.
Oh! Wait.
What in Greedo's name is that?
Talk about a wretched hive
of scum and villainy.
Hmm.
You guys stay right here.
I 'll take care of this.
How you doing, fellas?.
Hi, fellas.
So our car broke down
a couple of miles back.
Is there anyone you know who can help us?.
No.
Can I have some water?.
Yeah, a glass of water, please.
Great.
Pirate teeth.
Pirate teeth.
- Pirate teeth. Don't.
- Thank you.
A hundred bucks.
For a glass ofwater?.
That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna pay that.
Sure you will.
Hell, no. Hell, no.
Back up, buddy. Back off.
Word to the wise, ese.
- Ooh!
- Drop the tough-ass biker
routine before I get angry.
And you won't like me when I'm angry.
Hmm, I think I would.
- Hutch, let's not do this.
- Hutch, maybe-
Nah. Nah. Nah.
This guy wants
to dick with me, fine. I can dick.
I used to rape guys 15 times
your size in prison.
Soyou best back off...
- or, so help me God, I'm
gonna pound your ass so hard-
- Oh, Jesus.
- No. Hutch.
- What?.
- There's kind ofa thing in this bar. Like that.
- See?.
Ixnay on the ass pounding.
A hundred dollars?.
That's