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check out.
Well, what have we got here?.
Ohio to Califor-
Is this what I think it is?
Linus laid the whole thing out in fifth grade.
I figure it's time
for another epic journey, isn't it?
What's your game plan?.
We storm the ranch, or we die trying.
Yeah.
Well, you guys were
all about this at the party.
- We were six Zimas to the wind at the party.
- Drunk.
Come on. You even said the Rogue Leader
has connections inside the ranch, right?.
Rogue Leader? Please, man.
Windows never even met him.
- Her!
- Him.
- Maybe it's time that he does.
- Dude, this is a suicide mission, man.
Why would we even try anything like this?.
For Linus.
- Huh?.
No.
- No?.
- No. I'm not going.
Aw, Linus, you've got to go.
This is a conquest for the ages.
Our names shall become legend...
spoken in hushed tones
by nerds across the galaxy.
And we'll get laid.
More than
we've ever been laid
- Okay, please stop that.
- Sorry. I was getting into that.
I just don't wanna go
with Opie over there.
Check this out, man.
Floor plans to the Lucas Ranch.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Areyou kidding?. How did you get these?.
My life partner, Rogue Leader,
she can break us in, man.
The question you got to ask yourself is...
"Doyou have the nut sack
to go through with it?"'
Ifl do this, it doesn't change anything.
I'll grab my suitcase
and some Big League Chew.
- Yes!
- ThunderCats! Ho!
- Told you. I knew he'd go.
- Stop humping.
Please stop humping.
Just high five.
- Oh, God. I' m Jabba the Hump.
- Oh, goddamn it.
- Chewie!
- Chewie! Damn it!
Wait a second. Whoa.
What the hell's Chewie?
It's the same rules as shotgun.
Eitherway, I always lose.
- Furball, you do the honors?.
- Yeah.
Strap in, fellas.
Whoo!
What the hell, Hutch?.
It's all Rush.
- Ever want a little variety?.
- Rush is variety, bitch.
- Oh!
Rule number one:.
in myvan, it's Rush.
All Rush, all the time.
No exceptions.
Rule number two:.
nobody touch the red button.
And I mean never touch the red button.
Most importantly,
rule number three:
there's no jerking it in my van.
What?.
- Fine.
Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar.
""Established in 1985...
""the Skywalker Ranch
is the headquarters...
of George Lucas's filmmaking empire."
So according to Rogue Leader's map...
our best odds for finding
the film is in here- the main house.
Oh, my God.
That place is legendary.
And we meet Rogue Leader at a coffee shop
in Texas Wednesday, 3:.00 p.m. sharp.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's gonna give us
absolutely everything we need...
- to get into the compound.
- Nice.
White chocolate finally gets
to meet his dream girl.
- Oh!
- Ooh! Ooh!
Well, according to this,
80 West is our fastest route.
So we got 26 hours
to make it to Texas, boys.
Consider it done.
Ah!
- Wakey, wakey. Hands off steakey.
- It's time for Hutch's pit stop.
- Where are we?.
Some say heaven.
I like to call it Iowa.
Iowa?.
What about Rogue Leader?.
- Iowa?.
- Yeah. I made a little detour.
Hutch, we're supposed
to be going to Texas.
Welcome to Riverside, gentlemen...
future birthplace ofone
CaptainJames T. Kirk.
Enemy territory! Nice.
- Man, you drove all night for this?.
Dude, I'd drive all year for the chance
to pimp slap some Trekkies.
You know what?
Leave me out of it.
Let's crack some Trekkie skulls!
Let's do it!
And it is believed
that on this very spot...
Captain James Tiberius Kirkwill be born.
Hence, the statue immortalizing him...
grappling with his most accursed nemesis.
Ricardo Montalban?.
Genetically engineered tyrant Khan.
- It doesn't look like either of them.
- Thank you forpointing that out.
That is because the whores at Viacom
International threatened to sue us...
if we used their likenesses,
so we make do.
Yes. The gentleman in the beige.
I was wondering what did Sulu find
in Captain Kirk's lavatory.
Sulu clearly found a standard issue
Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.
I believe it was the Captain's
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