immortalizing him...
grappling with his most accursed nemesis.
Ricardo Montalban?
Genetically engineered tyrant Khan.
- It doesn't look like either of them.
- Thank you for pointing that out.
That is because the whores at Viacom
International threatened to sue us...
if we used their likenesses,
so we make do.
Yes. The gentleman in the beige.
I was wondering what did Sulu find
in Captain Kirk's lavatory.
Sulu clearly found a standard issue
Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.
I believe it was the Captain's log.
- [ Lips Blowing ]
- Very good.
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away, everyone.
We've been saved.
- Ooh.
- Any other comic relief?
- Ah!
- There's still homeless out there.
- Hey!
- Yes! What? You! What? Yes.
What is the Klingon translation
for, ''You're gonna die a virgin''?
- [ Speaking Klingon ]
- [ Lips Blowing ]
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Hilarious, everyone.
Looks like we got more Lucas hounds
here to mock Roddenberry.
Congratulations, gentlemen,
but I would like to see...
your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone.
And we'll see who's laughing then.
Am I right?
Darth Vader can put the entire
Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.
Uh, Darth Vader has asthma...
so name me one Star Trek character
with a respiratory disease...
'cause I'm drawing a blank.
Name me one
Star Wars character who's gay.
- Yeah.
- Besides you.
Well, no one's gay in Star Trek,
so why would I even do that?
Captain Picard.
Captain Picard is not gay.
He's British.
- Come on. ''Make it so!''
- #Ah-ah ##
I hate to break it to you losers,
but Han Solo's a bitch.
[ Lucas ]
Ah, no, he didn't. No, he didn't.
What did you just say?
- Is there a problem here?
- Yeah, there sure is, Spock.
The admiral here just
called Han Solo a bitch.
- Good one.
- Some pretty strong words for a Trekkie.
A Trekkie is derogatory
at this point in the game.
Trekker is what we're called now.
Trekker.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Trekkie.
-Just take a look-see here.
- [ Beeping ]
What's with the man-purse?
- [ Beeping Continues ]
- Yep. As I thought...
- scanner reads ''douche bag.''
- [ Trekkies Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ All Gasp ]
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Hutch ] Push me, I'll kill your whole Starfleet.
- Unbelievable!
- [ Engine Whooshes ]
Snikt! Snitk!
Come on, bub!
Attack, you cowards!
That's an order!
- Hutch!
- Cover me, WindowsI
Evasive maneuvers!
Evasive maneuvers!
[ Roars ]
- [ Shouting ]
- [ Screaming ]
- My ear!
- Ha-ha!
Nighty-night, Spock-sucker.
Beam this, bitch!
Time-out!
I call time-out! Time-out!
[ Horn Bellowing
Like Chewbacca ]
[ Horn Bellows ]
- Disable their vehicle.
- [ Eric ] Get in! Go!
Get in the vanI
Get in the vanI
Disable the vehicle.
Kill the Star-roids!
Get themI
Han Solo is still a bitch!
- [ Tires Screech ]
- Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch.
Yeah!
[ All Yelling ]
Hey, Bottler, hit 'em
with the pressed ham!
Klingon to this.
[ Laughing ]
Kha-a-a-an!
[ Inhales ]
Kha-a-a-an!
[ Breathing Heavily ]
[ Kisses ]
Whoo!
[ Laughing ]
I took that Vulcan down hard.
I rolled him into the dirt
like he was my frickin tauntaun.
Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me,
you guys would all be dead.
What fight were you watching?
I was channeling the emperor.
The emperor? I don't remember the emperor
crapping his robe and screaming ''time-out. ''
- Oh, my God. That's right.
- There is such a thing as time-out.
[ Imitating The Emperor] I can feel
your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.
[ All Laughing ]
- [ Tire Pops ]
- [ Tires Squealing ]
- [ All Screaming ]
- [ Crash ]
[ Hutch ]
All right. Time-out.
[ Eric ]
We had to take your van, Hutch.
I have access to literally
thousands of vehicles...
but we had to take your van.
Yeah, well, I had a spare tire...
but some tardo took it out
to make some room for his grappling hook.
What? We're on a covert operation.
How can you be on a covert operation
without a grappling hook?
Oh! Wait.
What in