Remember Ellen from her letters?
There she is.
And Rusty and Audrey. They've gotten
bigger since the pictures.
Sorry we're late. I went to the wrong door.
Thanks for the invitation.
This must be the German dining room.
Isn't it nice?
Clark, it's just as I imagined.
It's so quaint.
Yeah, maximum quaintness.
You must be Helga. We made it.
You know Ellen, my wife,
and Rusty and Audrey.
Let me help you in the kitchen.
Come on, kids.
Go help in the kitchen. Help Helga out.
So, Fritz, how you been?
Long time never seen.
Here's your cousin Al.
He's a hotshot lawyer.
They'll probably get him on tax evasion.
Here's the baby.
You don't believe that cock-and-bull story
about the baby being premature?
I didn't think so.
When me and Jack got together,
we'd been seeing other people.
But this is different, because Debbie is
my best friend, don't you think?
God, it's so good to have
someone to talk to.
I tell my parents stuff but they don't seem
to know what I'm talking about.
- What are you talking about?
- You see?
God, I miss Jack.
I was just thinking.
Blood really is thicker than water.
It's amazing how family ties break through
language barriers.
This has been my favorite part of the trip.
Dad, look. Bedpans.
You've been so sweet. Here's our address.
When you come to Chicago, come stay with us.
Thanks for the marvelous conversation.
We'll write.
A festival.
It looks like fun. Come on, kids.
- What's your name?
- Claudia. And yours?
- I'm Rusty.
- Hello.
Do you ever get to leave here?
What's so funny? This is great, isn't it?
I love these.
Who wants bratwurst, mustard and relish?
Holy shit!
Hey, you! Come on!
Very good. We need one more.
A big strong man.
Hey, you! Come on! Come on, don't be afraid.
I don't know if I can do that.
Just follow the others.
Isn't he great?
- Those bells haven't rung in years.
- What does it mean?
They're going to hang somebody!
Dad.
Hurry up!
Oh, shit.
- It's too narrow!
- There's plenty of room.
I know this car.
Get out! There goes the paint job.
Why the sour puss?
You ruined what could have been
the best day of my life.
What are you complaining about?
I lost my boyfriend thanks to this vacation.
- I vote we stop talking about Jack.
- I vote for that.
I vote we don't talk about
schedules anymore.
Me, too.
I'm for that.
I vote we don't talk at all until we get
to Rome and everybody calms down.
Maybe then we can act like mature
human beings.
Clark, I thought we'd talk.
What are we doing?
We're going to a travelers checks place
to get our money refunded.
We'll rent a new car, buy some clothes...
...and finish the best goddamn
vacation of our lives.
Let's go.
I think Dad's lost all sense of reality.
Let's get out of here.
What are we going to do with him? Kill him?
Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone.
Then, what do we do?
I've got a better idea.
We can hold him for ransom.
He must be worth something.
Clark! I think this is something historical.
It looks real old, Dad.
That's great. We'll see it later.
Only four more miles. Let's go.
What we need now is a dupe.
Someone above suspicion...
...who will believe anything you tell him.
A real idiot.
Anybody here?
We have no proof
we lost the travelers checks.
We left the stubs in the suitcase.
Can I help you?
I'm Clark W. Griswald. We're the grand prize
Pig in a Poke winners.
We're in a bind. We lost our luggage,
a videotape camera, rented car...
...and $1,000 in cash. So, I'm just here
to get my money back.
I certainly hate to see our
customers inconvenienced.
- Name?
- Clark W. Griswald.
Ellen Griswald.
These are our children, Rusty and Audrey.
Come over here. Show yourselves.
Here we are.
Excuse me. We lost only $1,000.
This is $3,000.
That's to make up for your trouble.
I lost about $200.
Stay quiet. We'll get you out later.
Unfortunately, we somehow misplaced
the key to the trunk.
If you tell me where you're staying,
we'll