What are you complaining about?
I lost my boyfriend thanks to this vacation.
- I vote we stop talking about Jack.
- I vote for that.
I vote we don't talk
about schedules anymore.
Me, too.
I'm for that.
I vote we don't talk at all until we get
to Rome and everybody calms down.
Maybe then we can act
like mature human beings.
Clark, I thought we'd talk.
What are we doing?
We're going to a travelers checks place
to get our money refunded.
We'll rent a new car, buy some clothes...
...and finish the best goddamn vacation
of our lives.
Let's go.
I think Dad's lost all sense of reality.
Let's get out of here.
What are we going to do with him?
Kill him?
Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone.
Then, what do we do?
I've got a better idea.
We can hold him for ransom.
He must be worth something.
Clark! I think this is something historical.
It looks real old, Dad.
That's great. We'll see it later.
Only four more miles. Let's go.
What we need now is a dupe.
Someone above suspicion...
...who will believe anything you tell him.
A real idiot.
Anybody here?
We have no proof
we lost the travelers checks.
We left the stubs in the suitcase.
Can I help you?
I'm Clark W. Griswald. We're
the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners.
We're in a bind. We lost our luggage,
a videotape camera, rented car...
...and $1,000 in cash.
So, I'm just here to get my money back.
I certainly hate to see
our customers inconvenienced.
- Name?
- Clark W. Griswald.
Ellen Griswald.
These are our children, Rusty and Audrey.
Come over here. Show yourselves.
Here we are.
Excuse me. We lost only $1,000.
This is $3,000.
That's to make up for your trouble.
I lost about $200.
Stay quiet. We'll get you out later.
Unfortunately, we somehow
misplaced the key to the trunk.
If you tell me where you're staying,
we'll send the key there.
At what hotel are we staying?
- The Nazionale.
- Very nice.
I didn't know you rented cars.
I'll see you, then.
Let's see some Roman ruins.
We've been in these clothes for ages.
Let's go shopping.
I vote for shopping.
I feel totally scuzzed out.
We'd all look good in some Italian fashions.
Got plenty of money.
- You look cool.
- I feel cool.
Looking good, Mom!
Let's go. We ready to conquer Rome?
I'll be back and we'll hit the fountains.
I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right?
No problem at all.
It's you. The guy from London.
You're the American I ran into.
What are you doing in Rome?
On sick leave. A little holiday. Recovering.
Still on holiday with the kids?
Yeah, we're here.
We've just been out shopping.
Nice choice.
They're right there.
Kids, look who it is! Say "hi"!
You've got a cast on your leg.
This? Think nothing of it.
Hardly matters at all.
It's just a big sock, really.
That's pretty nice of you. I feel bad.
At least, let me give you a hand.
No, thanks!
Isn't this your hotel?
No, my hotel's over there.
Have a nice holiday.
Okay. Cheerio!
This is the Piazza Navona.
Jack?
It's one of the most fabulous squares
in Rome. What's wrong?
I want to go home. I miss Jack.
We have a few more fountains to see,
then the Colosseum.
I don't want to see the Colosseum.
I want to see Jack!
Jack will always be there.
The Colosseum will always be there.
It's been there 2,000 years.
If I don't go home soon, Jack will fall
in love with Debbie, and I'll die.
Don't you want to see the Colosseum
before you die?
I hate you.
I'll meet you later at the hotel.
What about the fountains?
I'm fountained out.
Clark, let him go.
We're leaving in two days.
These are our last moments together
as a family.
Dad, we've been together every second
for the last two weeks!
By the way, I've been good.
I haven't complained or tried to escape.
Why can't you treat me like a man,
for once?
Because you're not a man.
I am, too!
I'm 15 years old, a world traveler.
I have a part-time job.
I need my independence.
If he's going, I'm going.
Why don't we give the kids