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Sure, if you're still alive and out of a straitjacket.
- Seriously. Look after yourself,
will ya?
You now owe me four weeks' salary.
- Okay, okay. See you. All right?
- Okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
This guy is incredible.
Love to meet your family.
Personally, I'd rather meet
the Manson family.
Mr. President...
"the situation in Algiers
is a disaster.
Dad, Bart's in Miami.
"And the firing...
"of the surgeon general...
"was a major...
What a woman."
I said Bart is in town.
That's nice.
You... You know who
Bart is, don't you?
Of course I do.
I mean, your son,
my twin brother.
- I know who Bart is!
- Okay, okay, okay.
Just because, uh, someone might
call and want to talk to him.
Or you... you might meet
someone who mentions him to you.
I just don't want you to act like you've
never heard of him. You know what I mean?
Believe me, if I'm gonna forget
either son...
it'll be you.
Thank you.
I'm not going to help you!
The next time you're in a jam, I'd
prefer you were straight with me!
I knew it.
I mean, yes, yes.
Your brain works just fine when
something's in it for you, of course.
Listen, you son of a bitch,
and may your mother forgive me.
What is this bullshit
all about?
Well, I was just trying to get you
to help me without having to ask you.
- That's all.
- So ask me.
- I'm your father, right?
- Ah.
Is it money or women?
No, it's...
You don't have to help me.
No, no, you don't want to,
you don't have to do it.
- Money or women?
- Women.
Is she... special?
So what's the problem?
- I'm gonna get married.
- It's about time.
To her sister.
Her sister.
This... This twin...
with the idiotic name.
H-He's going to
fix all that?
- Damned if I know. Huh.
- Hmm.
Listen, any second now a woman is
gonna walk in here asking for me.
Tell her I am not in, but she
can speak to my brother Bart.
Bart. Get it?
Yeah, I lie to the woman you're engaged
to, but it's not as bad as it sounds.
I get it. Mm-hmm.
- Good morning.
- Good morning!
- May I help you?
- Yeah.
I'm looking for
Mr. Art Dodge.
- He's not in at the moment.
- Oh.
But if you like, you can
speak with his brother... Bart.
Bart's here?
Oh, I'd love to meet him.
- You mean you don't know him?
- Well, he just arrived from Italy.
Ohh! Of course.
And who shall I say
is here?
Betty Kerner,
Art's fiance.
- Bart?
- Yes?
Your... brother's
fiance is here.
- A Miss Kerner.
- Please, uh, send her in.
Right this way.
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
So, you are Betty.
I'm surprised.
So am I.
You're not at all alike.
My brother is obviously attracting
more perceptive women these days.
Thank you.
What do you mean, "these days"?
Well, let's just say...
the girls he used to
bring around...
didn't have your class...
or subtlety.
My brother has
a certain charm.
But don't you find him
a little... boring...
a bit, um, limited?
Not yet.
Art says you're an artist.
You can't really say that about a person
until he's been dead at least, uh, ten years.
What a point of view.
That's so pedantic.
- Eh?
- I mean romantic.
My sister
would love you.
Why don't you come by with
Art for dinner tonight?
And you can talk about art
and the meaning of life.
- l-l-l...
- I won't take no for an answer.
- 9:00.
- Okay. Okay.
I can't wait
for my brother.
Miss Fletcher,
if my brother shows up...
please tell him
I need to speak to him.
Betty, a pleasure.
Until tonight, then.
Yeah. Tonight.
- Hey! Hi.
- Hi.
- Betty! You been here long?
- No.
- I met your brother.
- Ohh.
- You're right. He's very complicated.
- Yeah.
But you know what?
He would make a great best man.
Fabulous idea!
He'll love that.
I-I am not sure.
- I'll check it out.
- Okay.
Your brother wants you to call
him anyway. It sounded important.
Darling, would you wait for
me in the car? I won't be long.
Okay. You'll be
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