you call this girl: "Thanks for...a lovely...evening"? Now I feel terrible. This is all my fault. You know what you should feel terrible about? This could have been my serious guy. He was sweet and smart and funny. You know how hard it is to meet a guy like that? We are a rare breed. What a great dinner. Thanks again for letting me have that last piece of cake at the restaurant. You're welcome again. I'm gonna go make some coffee. -Can I get you anything? -Do you have any cake? So this is going pretty good. Dinner was nice. We've got a lot in common. Victoria's Secret. We even like the same books. There's a scary painting. Wait a minute. I think I've been scared by that painting before. You know what? This whole place looks familiar. I have definitely been in this apartment. I know I've seen this weird plant before. It did that the last time! Oh, my God. I've gone out with this girl before. Yeah! We had sex on this couch! And then on that chair, and-- No. No, we didn't do it here... ... which is weird, because it seems like a perfectly good place. That's why. Hey, Mike. Sorry to just drop by like this. Can I come in? Sure. Who are you? I'm Ross. Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse? I really, really need to talk to you about something. Unless.... You're not gonna try and get me to join a cult, are you? No, it's just, you know, you have that look. Damn Supercuts! -Well, what's up? Is Phoebe okay? -Oh, yeah, yeah. Phoebe is great. But.... I'm an idiot, okay? Right before you guys went out, I accidentally got her all upset. That's why she was weird. Yes. I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship. But you should know, she is so much fun. A wonderful person. -Please, don't blow her off. -I'm not gonna blow her off. I just spoke to her. We're going out tomorrow night. I mean, I hope that's okay with you, stranger from the coffeehouse. Well, then, I didn't need to bother you. You or the four other Mike Hanigans I bothered. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Is that true what you said? Phoebe's never had a serious relationship? Of course she has. If she's never had a serious relationship... ...do you think I'd go around broadcasting it... ...like some kind of unstoppable moron? -But you did say it. -Yes. Yes, I did. And I will also say... ...what I'm about to say... ...vis-а-vis... ...the following. Phoebe has never had a serious relationship... ...since... ...her super-serious relationship... ...with... ...Vikram. -Vikram? -What? That's a real name. Stop it! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? Seven o'clock. Maybe I'll hit the gym. Who am I kidding? Pay-per-view porn. -Do not disturb! Do not disturb! -Surprise! -Monica? -ls everything all right? Yeah, everything's great. I was just... ...watching some regular television there. What a pleasant surprise. -I'm gonna go freshen up, okay? -Okay, honey. That was close. -Hello. -Hey, Rach, it's me. Okay, I just got to Chandler's room, and I caught him... ...molesting himself. That couldn't have been pretty. But you know, guys do that. Well, the weird part is... ...he was getting off... to a shark-attack show! -No! -Yes! Chandler watches shark porn! -While watching sharks? -Yeah. Are you sure that's what he was doing? You know how many times I've seen him jump up like that? Believe me, I know what he was doing. Man! Sharks! I always knew there was something weird about that dude. You promised to love him no matter what. "What" means, like, if he gets a disease or kills someone. Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws. You know what, honey? Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend... ...that he was an archeologist, and I was this... ...naughty cavewoman who he unfroze from a block of ice. Are you talking about my brother? I didn't disguise that ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Агония на английском - текст Берлин на английском - текст Полицейский отряд на английском - текст 1984 на английском - текст Мой друг Иван Лапшин на английском |