m gonna go get this warmed up.
- You're doing great.
- So far, nothing stupid.
- Mento?
- No, thanks.
As Joey's friends, is there anything
our readers should know?
No, just that he is a great guy.
That'll get you
into Soap Opera Digest.
Well, l...
I'd like to say that Joey...
...truly has enriched
the days of our lives.
I think that you don't expect
someone so hot to be so sweet.
- I like that. What's your name?
- Phoebe Buffay.
- How do you spell that?
- It's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie.
O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.
B as in Beebee.
And E as in, "'ello there, mate!"
Great. It was nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too.
- Thanks.
It seems you have a lot of friends.
Who is your best friend?
How come you have two?
Well, this one's for you.
- Get out!
- No, I can't.
I know how much this means to you.
This isn't just about jewelry.
It's about you and me
and the fact that we're best buds.
Is this friendship? I think so!
Check it out! We're bracelet buddies!
That's what they'll call us!
- I'm sorry.
- It's all right. Don't worry about it.
That's gonna leave a stain.
Rach, hey, it's fine.
You're at Joey's.
- Really?
- Yeah, look.
- I've never lived like this before.
- I know!
Well, don't waste it.
I mean, it's still food. Jeez!
I feel guilty.
I wanna be a good friend...
...and damn it, I am a good friend.
So shut up and close your eyes.
You are a good friend.
The audition was this morning,
and I didn't get it.
But that was a hell of a kiss.
Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Let's get the contestants
out of their isolation booths.
And they're off!
Get your foot off my contestant!
Judge!
Judge rules: No violation.
- The duck gets the Nutter Butter!
- No! That's just an old won ton.
Judge rules: Nutter Butter!
Tough call.
- I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
- Wait a minute. I saw that!
Yeah, about jellyfish,
and how if you...
You peed on yourself?
You can't say that! You don't know!
I thought I'd pass out from the pain.
Anyway, I tried,
but I couldn't bend that way.
So...
That's right, I stepped up!
She's my friend and she needed help!
If I had to,
I'd pee on any one of you!
Nope. No best friend.
Just a lot of close friends.
So now back to the show.
How does it feel
to have a huge gay fan base?
Really? Me?
Wow, I don't even know
any huge gay people.
It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
Now, off the record, you're not...
What? Are you referring
to my man's bag?
At first, it just looked good,
but it's practical.
It's got compartments for stuff:
your wallet, your keys.
Your makeup.
Should I climb down your front
so we're face to face...
...or should I climb down your back
so we're butt to face?
- I think face is best.
- Yeah, face.
- Okay, here I come.
- All right.
Oh, my...
How much do you weigh, Ross?
I prefer not to answer that. I'm still
carrying a little holiday weight.
When we said "face to face," we didn't
think it all the way through!
- Hey, Pheebs.
- Hey!
Check it out.
How much of a man am I?
Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.
You're turning into a woman.
No, I'm not! Why would you say that?
That's just mean!
Now I've upset you? What did I say?
Not what you said,
it's just the way you said it.
Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
- Great nap.
- It really was.
Me? Gay? No. No. No.
But I have a number
of close friends who are.
So let's talk about women.
I'm sure our female readers are
interested in your romantic life.
What I do is, I look a woman
up and down and I say:
"Hey. How you doing?"
Oh, please.
Hey. How you doing?
Hey. How you doing?
He has an amazing Porsche under there.
I'd love to show you, but I just
tucked her in. She's sleeping.
Would you two girls
like to go for a drink?
- Is Rachel here? I'm her sister.
- Oh, my God! Jill!
- Oh, my God! Rachel!
- Oh, hi!
- Oh, my God! Introduce us!
- Well, this is Chandler.
You know Monica and Ross.
That's Phoebe. That's Joey.
- Hey, how you doing?
-