me to do...
...jump up my own ass and die.
Oh, wait a second, you guys?
I've been seeing that guy
everywhere I go.
We take the same bus,
go to the same bookstore.
Maybe he's the tea guy.
Did you see that?
He totally checked you out!
And he is so cute!
Mine is a picture of the Village
People. What's that mean?
Hi.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Tea gives Phoebe the trots!
I thought Joey and I
would be okay...
...but we don't know
how to be together.
- It's tough, but things will improve.
- How do you know?
What if it gets worse and worse...
...to the point where we
can't be in the same room?
I'm not great at the advice.
Can I interest you
in a sarcastic comment?
Some cheese?
Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD
in the Cat Stevens case?
If I can't find the right case,
I use the nearest one.
- Where is the Cat Stevens CD?
- The James Taylor case.
- Where is that CD?
- I'll save you time.
Two hundred CDs,
not one of them in the right case.
Okay. No need to panic.
Deep breaths, everyone.
We'll just have to put the CDs
in their right cases.
If we do that, we should
come up with some kind of order.
We have to talk this through.
Oh, my God, you have such
problems! I feel so terrible for you!
All right. Okay, I'm sorry.
You're both focusing on
this uncomfortable thing.
Change the subject.
Get him talking about something else.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Maybe you need his advice
on a work problem...
- I could do that.
- Good.
The Miami Vice soundtrack?
Really?
They were just giving those away
at the store.
In exchange for money.
Hey.
I really don't know what to tell you.
Maybe Joey could help you out
with your big work problem.
- What?
- Yeah, Joey, she's...
Rachel's got this big work problem.
It is a head-scratcher.
Know what? If we're gonna make dinner,
we're gonna have to leave.
So you have a big work problem?
Yeah. It's, uh...
Yeah, it's, uh...
You know, it's nothing.
Okay.
So I think I'm gonna take off.
No, wait, Joey, it is.
It's something. It's...
It's my boss.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. And, uh...
And my baby.
My boss wants to buy my baby.
What? Oh, my God!
I know, I told you,
it's a really big problem!
- He wants to buy your baby?
- Can you believe that?
- That's crazy.
- That's what I told him!
- How did this even happen?
- Well, I'll tell you.
See, my boss and his wife,
they can't have children, so...
And then when we were
at the Christmas party...
...he got drunk and said to me,
"Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
When you said it was a problem
about your boss and the baby...
...I figured it was
about maternity leave.
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, that would have been
a much simpler problem.
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere.
I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.
Hi, Jim-Jim Nelson.
I'm Phoebe-Phoebe Buffay.
- We've seen each other a lot lately.
- Yes.
Maybe we'll see each other at
dinner tomorrow. Around 8:00?
Well, maybe we will.
Mona?
Okay, if I were a salmon shirt,
where would I be?
I am so sorry I spilled wine
all over your shirt.
- It's okay.
- No, it's still wet.
Let me get it out before it sets.
I have something you could wear.
Here.
I don't know if I want to wear
a woman's shirt.
- That's a man's shirt.
- Awfully pink.
It's not pink!
Honey, we are so meant
to be together.
- We both have the Annie soundtrack.
- Honey, both yours.
Hey, great advice on that Joey thing.
- The work problem?
- It was perfect.
It felt like he was my friend.
- What problem did you say you have?
- Oh, that's not important.
The point is,
I think everything's gonna be okay.
May I help you?
You think you can just buy
my friend's baby?
Isn't it funny how we kept meeting?
It's as if someone wants us together.
Someone does. Me.
Witty banter. Well done. Good.
- Tell me a little bit about yourself.
- Okay. I'm a masseuse.
- And I used to work at this place...
- Do you like to party?
I like parties.
You're wild, aren't you?
- Yeah, I