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a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Alimony.
We still haven't gotten an
RSVP from your dad.
Oh, right. Maybe that's because I
didn't send him an invitation.
He's your father.
He should be at our wedding.
I don't even know him.
I haven't seen him in years.
And when he finds out
he wasn't asked?
We don't run in the same circles.
I hang out with you guys and he...
...stars in a drag show in Vegas.
I think I want to trade circles.
You don't want him there.
Nobody will stare at the bride...
...when the groom's father's
wearing a backless dress.
As long as he's not wearing a
white dress and veil, I don't care.
I think I need to do some shopping.
Nice.
My God!
- What do you think you're doing?
- Just washing the windshield.
There's no way I'll let you
drive this car.
Just hand over the keys.
Oh!
Do not start this car.
Okay, okay.
I will give you 20 bucks...
...if you get out of this car
right now. Hey!
Look.
If you're so freaked out,
get in the car.
With you? Yeah, right.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
- What are you doing? Get in front.
- In the death seat?!
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Ready to go?
- My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.
- Wait a minute.
- What? Oh.
That one kept going.
So, you and Phoebe, huh?
- How long have you been going out?
- A month.
We ought to get to
know each other better.
- Sure. I'd like that.
- Yeah. So, uh... .
What's your name?
- It's Jake.
- Joey.
- Do you like the Knicks?
- Yeah, big fan.
Me too. There's a game Tuesday.
Do you want to go?
Great! Let me make sure I'm not
doing anything Tuesday.
Here.
- What's this?
- Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.
Are you serious? Eloping?
No more stupid wedding stuff.
No more these flowers, these flowers.
Think of the money we'll save.
We're not eloping.
Can our wedding be bigger, please?
We're going to see your dad.
I want to get to know
my father-in-law.
When we went over this, I won.
No, you didn't.
Honey, just so you know... .
Now that you're marrying me,
you don't get to win anymore.
Forget it. I don't want to go.
I don't want to see him.
I know your dad embarrassed you.
All kids are embarrassed
by their parents.
You need a new word
for what I went through.
In high school,
he came to all my swim meets...
...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.
Hard enough to be 14, skinny, wearing
Speedos Mom promised I'd grow into.
You look up in the stands.
There's your dad cheering you on.
Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing
a headdress with real fruit...
...that he'll later give to your
friends as a healthy snack.
He was at every one of your swim meets
cheering you on.
That's a pretty great dad.
He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
- Who's Mr. Garibaldi?
- Does it matter?!
You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe
it's time you let that stuff go.
If he's not at your wedding, you'll
regret it for the rest of your life.
Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
- I never get to win anymore?
- How much did you ever win before?
You know how when you're wearing
pants and you lean forward...
...I check out your underwear?
Well, when Jake did it...
...I saw that he was wearing
women's underwear.
I know. They were mine.
Oh!
No, no, wait. That's weird.
We were goofing around,
and I dared him to try them on.
That's weird!
- I'm wearing his briefs right now.
- That's kind of hot.
I think so too. And that little flap?
Great for holding my lipstick.
I wouldn't know about that.
Jake says that women's underwear
is actually more comfortable.
He loves how silk feels
against his skin.
Next he'll say your high heels
are good for his posture.
There's nothing wrong with Jake.
He is all man.
I think more than you.
He looked like a real lumberjack
in those pink lacies.
Only a man completely secure
in his masculinity could...
...walk around in women's underwear.
I don't think you could.
- I am secure with my masculinity.
- Okay, whatever.
You've seen my huge stack of
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