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- Fine, I'll go call her.
- And please tell her to bring a cake!
We have a lot of options. A number
of prototypes for you to try on.
Those look great.
Okay, this one's a mushroom cap.
This one is made of bologna.
- The toothpicks?
- Just until the glue dries.
Thank God.
These are more realistic,
but perishable.
Over here, we have pink suede,
which is nice.
But if it gets wet, it'll shrink.
Maybe we'll just
take that one away.
I also did a little something in fur,
but that's really just for me.
Why don't you try these on? We'll
get a better idea of what works.
Thanks, you are such a good friend.
And this is so weird.
- Toothpick?
- Yeah.
- What are you trying now?
- The Fruit Roll-up.
- And?
- Delicious.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
We have a winner!
What? Which one?
The Silly Putty.
Not so silly anymore!
She's your cousin. 
She's your cousin. 
If she knew what was going on in
your head, she'd think you were sick. 
Or would she? 
Let's back up for a second. 
She was the one who suggested
opening a bottle of wine. 
She was the one who
turned down the lights. 
She was the one that wanted to rent
Logan's Run...
... the sexiest movie ever. 
I know that look. 
Forget it. I want it. She wants it. 
I'm going in. 
What the hell are you doing?
Say something clever. 
Okay, doesn't have to be clever. 
Just has to be words. Say some words. 
Any words will do. 
Oh, my God, this is the longest... 
... that anyone has not talked ever! 
There is nothing you could say
to make this worse... 
... so just say something! 
I haven't had sex in a very long time.
Yeah, you really shouldn't
have said anything. 
Phoebe? Rachel? It's Monica.
I wonder what you could possibly
need me for on such short notice?
- Oh, Monica. We are so sorry.
- For what?
First, for forgetting to
throw you a bridal shower.
Then, forgetting to invite you to it.
You already had it?
We called everyone in your phone book.
A bunch of people came.
It took us so long to get you here
that they had to leave.
We wanted to throw you a big surprise
and a great shower.
Now you don't have either.
We ruined everything.
No, wait a minute, that's not true.
What you did was really sweet.
- It kind of works out for the best.
- What do you mean?
Now I get to spend my shower
with the only people I really love.
I get all those presents without
talking to people I don't even like!
- Surprise.
- Surprise, Monica.
What's cool is, the character
is from Naples, right?
My whole family's from Naples.
That's great. Okay. I've heard
everything I need to hear... .
We just need to, uh... .
- Joey, this is the awkward part.
- Hey, right. Not a problem.
I totally understand you need to...
...make sure I don't have any
horrible scars or tattoos.
Don't you worry.
I have nothing to hide.
So, there you go. That's me.
One hundred-percent natural.
I tell you, that has never
happened before.
Cassie, are you finding
everything okay?
Yeah. Thanks for
letting me stay here.
Oh, it's no problem.
Say something. Say anything. 
Ask her out! She's not your cousin! Out of all of us, who do you think
will get married next?
Probably Monica and Chandler.
Could I have a pack of Newport Lights?
We don't sell cigarettes,
but they do across the street.
That'd be great. Thanks.
Melissa Worbert. I don't think
I have the energy for this.
Oh, my God! Ray-Ray Greene?
You've been MIA
for seven sorority newsletters.
What's up with you?
Why don't I tell you over here?
So last I heard
you were gonna get married.
Poor Ray-Ray.
Oh, no. It's all good.
- I actually work at Ralph Lauren.
- Shut up!
I will not. I'm the divisional head
of men's sportswear.
Shut up more!
Are you friends with Ralph?
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