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you leave the show...
...I was wondering if...
- I'm leaving the show?
- Why? Did you hear something?
Who told you that?
- One of the writers.
- Was it bald or was it tall?
You know, it doesn't matter,
because it is not true.
Okay.
And if it were true, how dare you come
to me and ask me for tips...
...about a character I've played
for 20 years!
Miss Monroe...
Oh, there you go.
Okay, look, I have an idea.
Why don't we see what kind of numbers
he has on his speed dial...
...and then whoever has more in common
with him gets the phone.
- Fine. All right.
- All right.
First name on the speed dial is "Mom. "
Oh. I lost my mom to suicide.
You can't use that to get the cute guy
and the last blueberry muffin.
Did I use that already today? Sorry.
"Ben, Carlos, David..."
Oh, I win. He's got Barney's
on his speed dial.
You don't know it's Barney's
the store.
That could be his friend's
house, a bar...
Who has Barney's the store
on their speed dial?
His new girlfriend.
What is that?
I think it's the Dying Cat Parade.
Sounds like it's coming
from across the street.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
The thing that Ross was gonna
do at our wedding?
He was hanging out with me and said,
"You're half Scottish, right?"
No. There is no way.
It cannot be Ross.
Unbelievable.
Why is your family Scottish?
Why is your family Ross?
He cannot play at our wedding.
I mean, come on. That is just noise!
It's not even a song.
Wait. If you listen very carefully...
...I think it's "Celebration"
by Kool and the Gang.
You're right.
They are writing me out of the show.
They don't know exactly when
it's going to happen, but soon...
...and then that's it.
If it was up to me,
you would never leave the show.
- Yeah, thanks.
- I mean it.
I can't believe they'd do this to you.
And to your fans.
They're gonna be devastated.
Heartbroken. They love you so much.
Oh, you're right.
Thank you.
What's your name again?
- Joey.
- Thank you.
That is so sweet.
The only reason
I came up to you before...
...is because, well...
...I'm really nervous about being you.
If you could help me capture
the essence of the character... .
Help me keep Jessica alive.
Please?
Joey, I will help you.
Not because I owe it
to this stupid show...
...but because I owe it to Jessica.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- You're so welcome.
I've been watching some tapes.
How's this?
Jessica Lockhart will never
step foot in this place again!
Never!
Jessica doesn't have
an English accent.
I can do an English accent?
That baby's going on my resume.
- Hi. How are you?
- Good.
Remember when we were
in the coffeehouse...
...we decided I was gonna keep
the cute guy's phone?
I was gonna keep it in my purse, so if
it rang, I could just pick it up?
Do you remember going into my purse
and stealing the phone?
Ooh, now you lost me.
- You stole the phone.
- No, I didn't.
You're saying if I called it,
it wouldn't ring?
- No.
- Okay.
But while you dial, let me show you
the features of my new ringing handbag.
Oh, it does work.
- Phoebe.
- That is a different phone.
Oh, is it? Hello. Yes, hi.
Is Rachel there?
Yes, she is. Just one moment, please.
It's for me!
That is damning evidence.
Oh, my God. I bet that's him.
My digital fairy tale's
about to begin.
Would you stop doing that?
Hello? Yes, I'm the one
who found your phone.
- Phoebe, you can't...
- Shh, I'm on a call.
Yeah, you can pick it up tonight.
Say, 8:30?
At my apartment.
It's 5 Morton Street,
apartment 14.
And then maybe, you know, after,
we can grab a bite to eat or whatever.
Okay. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.
I will be here when he comes over.
How will you know what time
to come over?
You just said it.
Oh.
The essence of the character
is rooted in her confidence.
So when Jessica enters a room,
for instance...
...she owns everything...
...and every person in that room.
- You try it.
- Okay.
He's not mad at the room.
Try it again.
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