ll talk about it later.
- Hi, Whitney.
- Hi, Ross.
- Are you ready for breakfast?
- Yep.
Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed
to divert her, not date her.
Can you give me a second
while I talk to this woman...
...who, by the way, did not
spend the night?
- Sure.
- Okay.
I did divert her, and we ended up
having a great time, okay?
Watching ballroom dancing?
Yes, that's where we realized
we were both super cool people.
Look, Kyle just told me
some really bad stuff about her.
Like what?
Like she's really mean, and
she's overly critical and...
She will paint a room a really bright
color without even checking with you.
Okay.
And she uses sex as a weapon.
Thank you for warning me.
At breakfast, I'll be on alert for
room painting and sex weapons.
- You're still gonna go out with her?
- Yeah.
Well, didn't you hear
what I just said?
Pheebs, come on.
I mean, consider the source.
Of course her ex-husband's gonna say
that stuff. Now if you'll excuse me.
Listen to me, she is crazy!
WHITNEY:
Your door isn't soundproof.
You see? Nothing is good enough
for her.
- Morning.
- Hi, Tag.
- Did you have fun with Joey?
- Yeah, we went to the Knicks game.
That's nice.
Then we went to a bar, and he
hooked us up with all these women.
Women? You mean, like old women?
Kind of old, like 30.
I never used to be able
to talk to girls in bars...
...but I got like 20 phone numbers
last night.
That's great.
Joey must have really taught
you some stuff.
A little.
How you doing?
See? That's a great smile.
Easy, natural.
Now pretend I have a camera.
- You're changing it.
- I can't help it.
You want to know what I do
when I take rйsumй shots?
Borrow money from me?
Yeah. Okay, first of all,
you want to make it look spontaneous.
So here's what I do. I look down,
look down, keep looking down.
Then I look up.
See? Now you try.
Look down. You're looking down.
Keep looking down.
Why is there jelly on your shoe?
I had a donut.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So, I heard you had some fun
with Tag last night.
Yeah, that guy's all right.
Yeah, and you had fun teaching him
how to be all "Joey. "
- What?
- You know, all the women.
You can't teach someone
to be good with women.
That's why I never had
any luck with Chandler.
I'm right here.
Would you mind just not
going out with him again?
Just the idea of you and he
and all these women...
I know he's my assistant,
and we can't date!
But it bothers me, all right?
No, no, no, you can't take him
away from me.
I got a great partner to pick
up girls with. Finally!
I'm still right here.
Will you talk to him...
...and tell him how unsatisfying
this dating-tons-of-women thing is?
What?
I don't want him to meet anybody
until I'm over my crush.
I will get over it.
It's not like I love him.
It's just physical.
I get these crushes all the time.
I had a crush on you at first.
I know. Monica told me.
Did you have a crush on me
when we first met?
Yeah, sure.
Can you people not see me?
Will you talk to him?
- I don't know, Rach.
- I'll give you 10 Ralph Lauren shirts.
One.
No, 10. You said 10.
You can't take that back.
You wanted to talk to me?
I don't know.
You got something for me?
Yeah, this is from Rachel.
Ten. Okay.
Tag, there's such a thing
as too many women.
- Really?
- Yeah, for you.
- Hey, there you are.
- There I am.
- You okay?
- Yeah, Joey said I needed to relax.
So he gave me an antihistamine.
What?
I fell asleep on the subway
and went to Brooklyn.
Brooklyn is far.
What were you thinking?
But don't worry, because
I know how to take a picture now.
Okay, see. Look down.
Look down.
Look down.
- Chandler?
- Yeah?
- Hi.
- Hi.
How are things going with Crazy?
Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Listen, you are hearing one side
of the story. Okay?
FYI, she must have shown Kyle
over 30 paint samples...
...before she painted that room.
And his response to each one was,
"I don't give a tiny rat's ass. "