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from now on,
I swear this is strictly professional.
- Yes.
- Hey, Rachel.
Cute assistant. What's his story?
- Is he...
- Gay? Yeah.
Hey, Terry.
Joey Tribbiani.
Surprised your big head
could fit through our small halls.
- I gotta go, Joey.
- Wait, Terry! Look.
I'm really sorry about before.
I was an idiot, thinking I'm too big
to audition for you.
- Give me another chance.
- I can't.
Wait, Terry, please!
Look, I just lost my other job, okay?
You have no idea how much I need this.
Please, help me out.
For old times' sake.
This guy's been in a coma
for five years. It's hopeless.
It's not. Dr. Stryker Ramoray
is a miracle worker.
Here he comes.
Good morning.
Drake, it's your brother, Stryker.
Can you hear me?
And cut.
I'm back, baby!
You know, in my defense...
...there was no glitter on
the macaroni and very little glue.
And in my defense,
the cleaning lady came on to me.
- Do you have trouble telling time now?
- No.
- Quick, what time is it?
- Time to kiss a guy?
What are you laughing at, Pampers?
You know when I said
married people...
...should share everything
and not have any secrets?
- Yeah?
- That was stupid. Let's not do that.
We should keep the stuff we told
each other secret from everyone else.
Yeah, definitely.
Okay. If you'll excuse me...
...I'm gonna hang out with people who
don't know the Space Mountain story.
- Then I'd steer clear of Phoebe.
- Man!
Not that you would, but I wouldn't
hang out with the guys at my office.
- Do you have a minute?
- Sure. What's up?
I got asked out twice today
while I was at lunch...
...by guys.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Did you tell someone that I was gay?
Oh, did you not want people
to know that?
I'm not gay. I especially wouldn't
want you to think I was gay.
Why is that?
- I don't think I should say.
- Oh, you can say.
Come on, I don't want you to feel
like you can't tell me things.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Well...
- Yeah.
...I'd love to ask out
your friend Phoebe.
Yeah, she's gay.Hey.
- What's the matter?
- Someone on the subway licked my neck!
Willy's still alive!
- What are you doing?
- My mom called.
They're announcing
our engagement in the paper.
- We're looking for a good picture.
- I'm afraid that does not exist.
There are great pictures of us.
No, there are great pictures of you
next to a guy who's going like this... .
Oh, my God, that's the creep that
you're with at the Statue of Liberty.
I don't know what it is.
I just can't take a good picture.
Here's a great one.
- Yeah, I'm not in that.
- No, but look at me, all tan.
Why don't you get portraits done
by a professional photographer?
That's a great idea. I bet they have
one of those wind machines.
Yeah, that's great. Next to that,
Chandler won't look so stupid.
- Chandler, what do you say?
- All right, but I'm not going.
"I'm" going.
The One With The Engagement Picture
English Subtitles by
Dude, that reverse lay-up.
- And how about those three-pointers?
- Amazing.
And those guys were this close
to letting us play this time too.
Hey, look. Phoebe's talking
to Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
You call him "Cute Coffeehouse Guy"?
We call him "Hums While He Pees. "
Yes, and we call Ross
"Lingers in the Bathroom. "
Hey, you guys, "Hums While He Pees"
just asked me out.
- I thought that guy was married.
- He's getting divorced.
Ross, maybe you know him.
It's not a club.
If he's getting a divorce,
is it a good idea to date him?
- Hey, divorced men are not bad men.
- That's on the napkins at the club.
- I gotta go to work.
- You don't have to go for a half-hour.
My assistant, Tag, does sit-ups
in the office during lunch.
I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rach, why would you hire this guy?
- You know you can't date him, right?
- I know that.
We joked that we spend
so much time together...
...he should call me his "work-wife. "
Soon he'll be able to call you "that
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