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Toulouse. "
What was her name?
Nestley Toulouse.
Nestl Tollhouse?
You Americans always butcher
the French language.
Phoebe, is this the recipe?
I cannot believe that I spent...
...two days figuring out that recipe.
It was here the whole time!
I know! You see,
it is stuff like this...
...which is why
you're burning in hell!
So you understand. 
I'd feel better if you
didn't tell what happened.
I'm a little embarrassed about it.
I understand completely.
Nothing's scarier
than embarrassing yourself...
...in front of your in-laws.
As a matter of fact, when I started
dating Judy, I was unemployed.
Her father asked me
what I did for a living.
I said I was a lawyer.
- What'd you do when they found out?
- They never did.
So if you ever see me giving them
legal advice, just nod along.
Shall we?
So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.
Well, Joey, I hate to admit it...
...your way of sailing
is a lot more fun.
Why don't you give a pull
on that rope?
We're not sailing.
- Just pull on it.
- All right.
What else?
Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Oh, wow.
- What are you doing?
- Sorry.
Not like that. You're letting
all the good stuff fall out.
You're wasting good pastrami!
Oh, my God. I'm my dad!We learned one thing, Cheese: 
Cheerleaders and high explosives
don 't mix. 
You can say that again, Mac. 
I couldn't have done it alone. 
You're a genius. 
Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can 't get
my VCR to stop blinking 12:00? 
What did you guys think?
- Hey, the phone.
- I got it. I got it.
Hold on. It's your mom.
- It's Mommy.
- That's nice.
Ma, so what did you think?
...that was okay.
It wasn't the best.
That was one
of the worst things ever...
...and not just on TV.
- What should we say?
- The lighting was okay.
You got lighting last time.
Lighting is mine.
I have costumes.
That means I'm stuck with:
"So we were watching you in there, and
you were sitting right here. Whoa. "
- What about you?
- I don't know.
I can't lie to him again.
Oh, no, l... No.
I'm just gonna press
my breasts up against him.
- And say nothing?
- Yeah, that's right.
Wow, my folks really liked it.
What did you guys think?
It wasn't that good.
The One With Rachel's Assistant
English Subtitles by
Do you think that your favorite animal
says much about you?
You mean behind my back?
You'll never believe
what happened to me today.
- I am sitting in my office...
- You guys!
Guess what my agent just said?
I'm in the middle of a story here.
Sorry, you finish.
I'm sitting in my office,
and guess who walks in.
I'm gonna be on two TV shows.
That's great.
- Joey.
- You weren't finished?
Yeah, "Guess who walks
into my office" is my story.
Ralph Lauren walked into my office.
If you're starting another story,
at least let me finish mine.
It's the same story.
Wow, it's really long.
Ralph just came in to tell me
that he's so happy with my work...
...that he wants me to be the new
merchandising manager for Polo retail.
Still get a discount on wedding gowns?
I'm so happy for you.
These really are
the "days of our lives. "
- What?
- Well, since you ask... .
They want me back on
Days of Our Lives. 
I get a big pay raise!
Oh, hey!
I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's
twin brother, Stryker.
I get to hire my own assistant.
I got a head rush
from standing up too fast.
You were at this job four years?
- That's right.
- This is all very impressive, Hilda.
I just have one last question for you.
How did I do? Was this okay?
- What?
- I've never interviewed anyone.
I've never had anyone work for me.
When I was a kid we had a maid,
but this isn't the same.
No, dear, it's not.
And I know that.
Well, thank you so much for coming in.
- Nice to meet you.
- Good meeting you.
All right.
I'm a total pro.
- Hello.
- Wow.
Hi, yes, I'm sorry.
The models are
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