anyhow, I'm sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I
still look at Lizzie like she's a twelve-year-old girl.
Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
I beg your pardon?
No! No! Not? I don't mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl!
I mean I-I have a son, who's umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
You have a son?
Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh,
and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as I'm sure you are with your wife!
Oh, I'm sorry!
It's unbelievable!
Don't worry about it, I just didn't realize you were married.
Oh we were, but that was just a,
I mean that was just a big drunken mistake.
You're back.
You two were married?!
Oh! Whoops! I'm sorry, you were talking about Emily!
Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
- We said seven!
- We said six!
The only way that I said six would be if the seven's,
let meet at seven, not at six.
Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I would've said something like this,
"Wow! My boyfriend's such a wise ass? seven!"
- Hi!
- Oh my good God.
I know what time you said.
What?!
Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
What time?
Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly it's my book to the rescue, huh?
Ooh, very interesting.
Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
What does it say?!
I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Thank you for writing your book.
Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Thanks! So are you.
I told you I should not wear this color.
Mon... Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night.
Marcia thinks they're supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks it's at seven.
So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
That's right.
Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!
Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
I can't believe I'm going to lose this job!
Oh I'm so sorry man! Is there anything I can do?
Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Yeah? Well, I don't want to talk to you Wayne!
I hate you! You ruined my life!
- Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler.
- Hi, how are ya?
Joey, Joey, I-I-I'll g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Why should I help you?!
The reason he just said.
What do you need?
I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman,
y'know Sarah?
I wish I could talk to her.
What are you in love with her or something?
Yeah. Her.
All of them. Anyone.
Yeah, I've been there my friend.
Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do.
Oh wow Wayne,
it's not really something you can teach y'know? It's pretty much something you're born with if you?
You-you can teach it! I'll show you right how to do it.
I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
How to make the next one even shorter?
Now wait a minute that's not fair.
He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily,
he just didn't tell me.
Maybe I have to pee again.
Well, this is fun.
So Ross,
did you kill any of these wives?
Y'know what? I-I-I... I-I have had enough of this!
Y'know, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect!
So if-if you've got a problem with me, frankly...
Are you yelling at me?!
God no!
Y'know what daddy?
If you don't like Ross, that's fine.
It doesn't matter to me,
I'm gonna go out with him anyway.
Really?!
Well if it doesn't matter to her, it doesn't matter to me!
Still not yelling!
Wow. What can I say?
This doesn't make me like you any better!
That's okay, I'm not so crazy about myself right now either.
Then we agree?
Uh yeah, I guess? Yeah! I guess so.
Neither of us like Ross!
- I like Ross.
- Ohhh!
Kids!
Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
That's