not crazy is she?
No.
So uh, how you doin'?
Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Go!! Who's this?
Oh okay, you're gonna like working for me. What's your name?
What kind of name is Brendy? I... Whatever... Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Hey there you are!
Uh-oh, it's my boss!
All right, here's a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work I'm delivering twins today,
but only one of them is mine!
Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
You realize what you are don't you?
What?
You're his bitch.
No-no!! No!!
Oh wait! You didn't just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I can't call my office they'll kill me! I can't call my clients they'll kill themselves!
Great, now my chest hearts.
What?!
My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I can't breathe.
Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
Yes!!
Then yes that is what I'm having.
Oh my God!
Come on Pheebs, it's not that bad! Y'know most people would be excited if they didn't have to work for a couple of weeks.
Most people don't like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and I'm already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow it down.
I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die!
But you're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Let's take a walk. Y'know maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine!
So what's going on with you?
Well umm, I've been doing a lot more of my kara-tay.
Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
Yeah.
How long has it been since you had sex?
Well, last weekend...
Oh that's not so bad.
...will be two months...
That is.
...since I stopped trying.
Maybe you need to spice things up a little.
What-what do you mean?
I don't know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other...
Oh.
Y'know, dirty talk, mйnage a trois, toys...
Wow!
Roll playing... You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Okay, I think I got it.
Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and you're-you're-you're rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybody's watching!
It never happened.
All right, and over there is Brady's Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Hey!
All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Wow! Umm, y'know, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldn't.
Why? Why can't the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Isn't that a line from the show?!
Uh, yeah but uh, I may have said those things before but, I never truly meant them. Until now.
That's a line from the show too!
Okay, you watch too much TV.
Here you go Joe, here's the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for.
Thanks! Yeah, there's pulp in that.
Yeah?
I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice, okay?
I'm sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.
Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm being so rude. Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Iced tea.
Okay, anything for you sir?
- Did I not just tell him?
- Yes, you did.
Okay look, Chandler, if this you have got to listen! You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't ya?
It's not all juice!
So honey, this morning was