have no idea what you're talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph!
Oh, you're Phoebe's fan!
Oh yeah! I've seen all her movies.
Movies?
That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
I don't think so.
No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store aren't gonna believe this!
Hey Gunther, don't let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebe's a porn star!
Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Hey!
Hey!
You'll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didn't even tell me why!
Ohhh well. Y'know what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else.
Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Y'know, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I'm not gonna date some random guy from your work.
It's not random, it's Bob.
It's probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress?No that can't be it. It's really gotta be the smart thing.
Oh I'm so stupid! I'm just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
You asked him too?!
Hm-mmm.
Why?!
Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history...
I don't understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
No.
You don't want him, but you don't want me to have him?
Y'know Bob in Human Resources...
Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! You had me doubting my fashion sense!
Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just don't date Ross! There's a million other guys out there, you just...
Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do.
I'm not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!
Why are you so jealous of me?
Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you can't have!
Can't have?! Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy!
All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!
Who?!
In Human Resources!!!!!!
...I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
You're jealous of Princess Caroline?
Do I have my own castle?
Hey! Uh, Phoebe's not here is she?
No.
Oh great! Did you get a movie?
Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I don't think it's the kind you're gonna like.
You didn't get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?
Sort of...
Guys, what's going on?
Phoebe's a porn star!
What?!!
Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Oh my God!
That's Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didn't know he was in there.
Wow! I mean, I just?I can't, I can't believe this. Y'know, I mean you think you know someone even,
even Phoebe who's always been somewhat of a question mark.
This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, y'know she had such a terrible childhood.
Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn.
Yes, but you are dead inside.
All right well, I'd better take that back.
Wh-what, why?
We can't watch that! I mean that's Phoebe!
Yeah you're right, we can't?we shouldn't watch this.
Absolutely not.
Y'know maybe a little bit!
Probably just the first half.
No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebe's our friend! Well, I'm not gonna watch it!
Yeah! Good for you Joe!
Yeah.
Ah, I thought I'd find you here, Nasforatool.
Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places?
Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around.
Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Her ankle is what you're watching?
Well it's hard to tell... Oh God, if she would just stop