while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right.
A smile goes a long way. And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Y'know? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers.
It's all about turnover.
Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Oh, I'm sorry, Ross. I'll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I'll toss in a free muffin.
Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Okay.
So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Hah!
That true, I am flaky.
So, what, you're just, you're just okay with being flaky?
Yeah, totally.
Well, then, I'm okay with being high maintenance.
Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
That's great. Good for you guys.
I am not high maintenance!
I am not a pushover!
Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Oh, I'm flaky. I'll say anything.
Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed.
Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, it's a great part. Look, check it out. I'm the lead guy's best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen.
'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.'
That's the whole part?
Okay, maybe he's not his best friend, but ...
Okay, I'll see you in an hour.
Oh, man, I could totally get that part. 'I'm sorry, that seat is taken.'
Oh, excuse me.
No, no, I didn't mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
So, you'd hire me, right?
For what?
Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Huh? What?
Yeah, it's for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. I'm sure you all read about it.
It's my joke.
It's my joke.
It's my joke.
Y'know, I don't think we're going to settle this.
Let's have Monica decide.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Hey Mon.
Mon, get out here!
Monica!
Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Why do I have to decide?
Because you're the only one that can be fair.
Yeah.
I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend.
Yeah, but I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world.
Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby. Okay, let's go.
We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truth? me.
Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Can I finish my story?!
Do you want me to pick you?!
See, I would never snap at you like that.
Continue.
So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steve's doctor's name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, 'Doctor Monkey?'
And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up.
Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, I'm a doctor, and I had a monkey.
I'm Doctor Monkey!
I'm not arguing with that.
All right, I've heard enough. I've made my decision.
You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and it's offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys!
You shouldn't be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
- It's your joke.
- Is not.
Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Hi, oh hi.
Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why don't you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady.
Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and? generosity of spirit.
Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I