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you sent an honest man to die."
Hey, that was really good!
Thanks! Let's keep going.
Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"
"I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."
"Smoke away."
I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.
Relax your hand!
Not so much!
Alright, now try taking a puff.
Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.
No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand.
When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Y'miss it?
Nah, not so much.
Alright, now we smoke. Oh.. my.. God.
No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
That's ridiculous!
Can I use.. either thumb?
Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!
Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea.
I'm getting pretty good at this!
Yeah. Yeah, excellent.
Good for me!
Y'okay, Phoebe?
Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
What did they do to you?
It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-
- and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Oh, Satan's minions at work again...
Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
What are you talking about? Keep it!
It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes.
Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.'
And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping-
'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
We're with you. We got it.
Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.
Hei, what are you doing?
Hey. Whaddya doing?
Oh! Oh, God!
What is this?!
I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.
Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
And this- is my reward!
Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Okay, so this time I won't quit!
Ohhh! Put it out!
All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.)
Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.
This Alan again? How's it goin'?
'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.
So when do we get to meet the guy?
Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
Oh, come on! Come on!
No. Not after what happened with Steve.
What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Well, then can we meet him?
Nope. Schhorry.
I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him.
I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef,
I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Let it go, Ross.
Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
Do you all promise?
Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!
Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
Hey, Pheebs.
'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error.
We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this
football phone... as our free gift.'
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