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Oh, no.
Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
- Please. This is so your fault.
- How, how is this my fault?
Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
- You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
- You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
- Oh, I'm threatened by you?
- Yes.
Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on.
My god, you guys, I don't believe you.
There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing.
So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
Yeah, Susan.
Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
- Help, Help.
- Come on
I'm having a baby in here!
OK!. Everyone stand back!
Er..
Are they here yet?
No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
- Ok.
- Ok?
Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel.
There you go, dear.
Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out!
Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's?
I was just?yeah, right.
Push! Push!
What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
- Help! Help!
- Help! Help!
"They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next..."
- "la la la la la la."
- Help!
Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really.  Yeah, Ross is great.
He's uh, he's in a whole other place.
No, he's gone.  No no, you don't have to fly back, really.
What do you mean this might be your only chance?
Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Where have you been?
Oh, just had a baby.
Mazel tov!
I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh,
tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
No, no. It's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.
I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
I'm a waitress.
Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like,
'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
Yeah. Gotcha.
- I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
- Ok. That's fine.
So how did you know I was even here?
Your mom called me. So is this her?
No, this is a loaner.
I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a
helper guy.
So, did you see who won the game?
Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Yeah, they're not so bad.
Damnit, damnit, damnit.
This is all your fault.
This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know?
My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok?
And you know what the funny thing is?
When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I?
There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
This is so great.
You wanna explain that?
I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died,
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