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kiss me!
There.
I wanted this to work so much.
I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in.
Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.
...I think that bitch cracked my tooth.Do you think they have yesterday's daily news?
Why?
Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Oh my God. Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.
Where? Ooh, come to Momma.
He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Nice hat.
Thanks.
We should do something. Whistle.
We are not going to whistle.
Come on, do it.
No!
Do it!
No!
Do it do it do it!
Woo-woo!
I can't believe you did that!
Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?
I just wish there was something we could do. Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Phoebe, what are you doing?
Maybe nobody's tried this.
I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!
Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.
I wish all guys could be like him.
I know.
Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
He doesn't have anyone.
Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
No way, forget it.
C'mon, she's your mom!
Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
You can say that because she's not your mom.
Oh, please...
Bona sera.
Oh, hi sweetie.
When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Last night.
Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Hey hey hey! She's on!
Ah! Nora Bing!
...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Your mom was arrested?
Shhh, busy beaming with pride.
...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Now why would she say that's embarrassing?
Shhh.
...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?
Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Awww!
This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
...And then he burst into flames.
Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Nah... not-not special enough.
Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Waaay too special.
I am famished. What do I want...
Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken.
Oh, you
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