college faculty members
[telephone rings]
Eat on what we get paid?
A free meal is like honey
to a bear to these people.
They'll wanna eat enough
to hibernate on.
They're animals.
I... I mean, where'll we get
enough Indian food
to feed all of them?
Swami Diavolo's
finger-lickin'
Hindu fried chicken,
my friend Skridlow.
The rest, as my people say,
is up to karma.
Don't worry, Cliffie.
Jesus Christ, Karen,
you said this was curry.
This is not curry.
Thelma, it will be.
Will you calm down?
Cliff, go upstairs
and shower and change
and put something on
that's nice.
Look a little GQ,
would you?
Monica, go outside and schmooze
with the people. Right, sarge.
Okay. Thelma, come here.
I'm gonna show you.
Take the o-olive
and the pimento,
make happy faces, okay?
I like that.
Good. Okay, here we go.
Of course, that was in the
Herbert Hoover Administration
which in some ways is similar
to what we have today.
Oh, Margaret, I fail to see
any similarity at all.
She's just kidding, Henry.
She's a real kidder.
(Rousehorn) And I was
reduced to my underwear.
It's been downhill
ever since.
Oh, my goodness.
You know, you look
very tired, Mr. Rousehorn.
You know, wealth and power
have a way of robbing
a man of his energies,
don't they?
That's very perceptive
of you, Monica.
Very perceptive.
I hear we're having
Indian food.
I certainly hope so.
Chapatis, huh?
Well, I... I guess they've got
a few of those laid in.
Hello. Won't you
excuse us, please.
You happy, gorgeous flower?
We're having
a nice affair here.
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
It's fine, but I'm... I'm
worried about the meal.
Wait till you see
the entertainment.
What?
Jasmine, enter.
##[Music playing]
[Laughs]
Cheers!
[People exclaiming]
Hi, Cliff.
Oh, my!
Oh.
[Laughs]
Uh, she's... she's... she's...
She's terrific. Come on.
Oh, you're ready.
I'm ready.
Okay, you set?
Set.
All right. Fire!
[All scream]
Be careful now. Hold on.
There's a fire! Fire!
Don't panic!
What are you doing?
Stop it.
Clifford,
what are you doing, man?
Stop it, please. Cliff.
Leave the arrangements
to me, would you?
This shit is so unique,
they're gonna love it.
They're gonna love this shit.
I panicked, I'm sorry.
I panicked.
It's okay, it's okay.
Just none of us eat it, all right.
[All applauding]
##[Playing]
Your dinner is now served.
Come on, everybody.
[All chattering]
Hmm. Not bad.
Beats fruit cup.
Isn't it marvelous having
so many educated talents
all in one place?
Is she Indian?
I think so.
Mahatma Gandhi
never had it so good.
Truly. Of course,
he wasn't that
big an eater anyway.
[Both laughing]
That's funny.
Oh, sahib,
follow me, brother.
[Chattering]
This is great.
This is tremendous.
They're buying it.
You pulled it off.
I can't thank you enough.
Hey, no problem, Skridlow.
Thank me in the car, okay?
What do you mean
in the car?
We have to go in to town.
What? Not me.
I'm not going anywhere.
I haven't slept
in days, Diavolo.
Listen, Cliff, we don't have
much time, okay.
The word is on the street.
You have to
make an appearance,
because the Doctor goes public
in about one hour.
Are you crazy?
No, man, you're crazy.
You invented the dude,
not me.
So, I guess I'll catch you
in the car, brother.
Oh, come on,
everyone's talking about
how you stopped Mom.
Doctor Detroit has to be
on the scene, right?
(Diavolo) He has to.
That's the end of it.
Uh, say, man,
put this shit on.
Props are in the bag.
Oh, terrific. Bag.
I must say, though, ladies,
you have given me
the most extraordinary week
of my life.
Oh, sweet.
Really.
Oh, man, you know,
you're gonna do good out here
in this city with
that wig and metal hand.
Lime-green pants.
Duty.
Honor.
And responsibility.
Hey, be the Doctor,
baby.
##[Music playing]
Doctor, my man,
give me five, man.
I'll give you $20 and
then you can keep the change.
[All clamoring]
See you at the